Guest Post!

I'm very proud of my post today at Liberating Working Moms!  It is a great website and a wonderful community of women.  My post is a letter to a new working mom about to embark on her newest role of balancing family and career.  After maternity leave the thought of going back to work and leaving your infant is a hard pill to swallow. 

I offer up some of my humble advice and I do my best not to sugar coat the experience.  I hated to hear from people that, "it will get easier" because I don't feel that it does.  I still don't find balancing my family and career has become any easier since July of 2011 when I returned back to work.  Leaving my now toddler at daycare has not become any easier either.  It has become more manageable and I've become better at juggling it, but it has not become easier.

My point is not to discourage a new working mom but to walk along side her through the stress and struggles but most importantly through the triumphs and the new found empowerment you can get from this experience.  This new working mom will discover that she is stronger than she ever knew, resilient, and capable of moving mountains! 

So, coffee mugs up working moms!  I'm so very proud of you.  Let's go make it happen again today!

Mommy Wars disclaimer: In an attempt to not offend anyone I know full well that SAHMs also move mountains every single day.  This guest post was for a working mom website and I happen to be one of those.  I write about what I know and I do not think any one of us is better than another.  We're all mamas together! 

Halfway there!

I haven't done a weekly pregnancy update on here because A) I didn't know if anyone would care and B) some weeks not much changes.  But since I have made it to the halfway mark I thought it might be fun to give you a little insight into the world of P-Nut!

I'm currently at 21 weeks (20 weeks is actually the true halfway point but I didn't think to do an update last week, sooooo 21 weeks it is!)

Here's a bump shot:

According to Baby Center:

Your baby now weighs about three-quarters of a pound and is approximately 10 1/2 inches long — the length of a carrot. You may soon feel like she's practicing martial arts as her initial fluttering movements turn into full-fledged kicks and nudges. You may also discover a pattern to her activity as you get to know her better. In other developments, your baby's eyebrows and lids are present now.



(photo credit)

How are you feeling? - Overall I feel great!  I have days were I'm not 100% but they are rare.  My back and sciatic nerve act up on occasion but that happened with my last pregnancy as well and believe it or not, the pain went away the bigger the bump got.  I'm hoping the same goes with this one!

How has your body changed? -  So far other than the bump becoming more prominent the biggest change has been my ENORMOUS breasts.  You can't really tell from the angle of the photo or from what I'm wearing but those puppies are large and in charge!  I have a feeling that is a huge factor as to why my back is so sore at the end of the day.  At least my bosoms themselves aren't as sore as they were during the first trimester but man, oh man, are they out of control!  No stretch marks (yet) and I hope it stays that way.  I made it out of my last pregnancy without them so we'll see.  My uterus is apparently level with my belly button at this point.  Isn't that crazy and neat all at the same time?!?  My appetite has increased and I try very hard not to go too crazy but... the ice cream... it calls to me...  I shoot for fat free frozen yogurt but after the dark chocolate syrup I dowse onto it and the M&M's I sprinkle on top, I don't think it matters any more!  :-/  I might be changing my after dinner habit pronto when I next step onto the scale at the Doc's office.

How is this pregnancy different from the last?  Two words, hormones and movement...  And morning sickness.  So, four words.  The morning sickness was nonexistent with Little C and I felt relatively in control of my hormones but whoa daddy is this little P-Nut giving me a run for my money!  She also moves around like crazy and thankfully during the day.  I don't remember this much movement with my son and I'm not sure if maybe I'm more in tune to what it feels like so I notice it more with #2 or if she really is a mover and a shaker! 

So there you have it!  My pregnancy so far.  Things are as they should be and every single day I am thankful that is the case.  I would have morning sickness all day every day for 9 months, boobs as big as Texas, an achy back every day, and stretch marks galore if it means I have a healthy pregnancy and baby.  I don't take for granted that ability to become pregnant, have a successful pregnancy, sucessful birth and a healthy baby as the outcome.  I still have another 20 weeks to go and I will continue to be thankful and hopeful every step of the way.

The highlight so far?  Well, besides the joy of feeling P-Nut move and groove inside, it has to be when we asked Little C on our walk last night if he could say, "sister."  An emphatic, "sees-doo" made my heart melt!

Time

"Time is what we want most but use worst." - William Penn

You said a mouthful there Mr. Penn!  Last night Hubby and I were talking about time or more specifically, the lack there of we are currently experiencing.  We discussed how hard it is to get everything done and how we feel like we are in a rut and not using the time we do have to our advantage.

The two hour window from daycare pick-up to bed time is a well choreographed routine and we tend to maximize our time very well.  It is amazing what we can accomplish in that window.  A snack for C while Hubs and I get work clothes off and get set up for tomorrow's work day (coffee, lunches, suits, Little C's clothes, etc.), dinner made and eaten, dishes done, play time as a fam, PJ's on, teeth brushed, books read, and good night smooches galore!  And that doesn't even include if it is a bath night, trash day, or something else pops up as things tend to do.

Our dilemma comes after those two hours.  I'm not going to lie, for me once Little C is in bed and it's 7:30pm I start to feel "done."  Done with my long day, done with any kind of physically exhausting tasks, done with thinking, done with decision making, done with everything.  I want nothing more than to plant my tushy on the couch, get lost in mindless television and do nothing until I can no longer keep my eyes open.  That time is usually around 9:00pm.  I know, I know, I'm quite a wild one!

Although there are days where being "done" and doing what I just described is fine and dandy, the issue is when that becomes all you do.  At least that is how Hubby and I are currently feeling.  We are staring down a tunnel with our second baby waiting on the other end.  January sounds like a long time away but it will be here before we know it!  We have an office that needs to become a nursery, we don't have any furniture to accompany the new nursery, we have a long list of house projects we need to complete before the baby arrives, and most importantly...  we need to spend time together.

Not parent time together but actual husband and wife time together.  I'm not talking about the hibbity-dibbity... get your mind out of the gutter. ;)  Of course that topic is always important in a couple's relationship but this is not the place for me to discuss that.  I'm talking about connecting with each other beyond discussions of dealing with tantrums or Little C's diaper rash.  Being the two people we were before we were parents and especially before we have another newborn and our time to connect is even less than it is now. 

Or what about time for ourselves as individuals?  I can't tell you the last time I rolled out my yoga mat.  I used to practice yoga as much as humanly possible and the closest thing to a down dog I've done recently was picking up a toy off of the floor!  Hubby has interests that he no longer engages in.  What about these types of needs?

Where will we find the time for projects, connecting and improving ourselves?  All are important but the weeknights leave us drained and the weekends leave us wanting to catch up on family time with our son and doing anything else besides chores and projects.  Are we not using the time from 7:30pm - 9:00pm to our advantage?  We've drop C off at his grandparents from time to time to start on some of our projects but then we end up looking around the house at our everyday chores and tackle those along with errands instead.  We are doing "things" but not the right kind of things to get us in gear. 

How can we do it all?  Time for our son, time for each other, time for ourselves, time for the to-do's and very, very soon... time for our second baby!  Last night Hubby and I carved out a pretty descent plan as our attempt at tackling everything we would like to do.  It will require some discipline and communication but it just might work.  It helps me to have a plan and I think we just might be able to pull it off.  I'll keep you posted on how it goes.  Until then I'm going to figure out how to muster up more energy that I don't have as a pregnant person right now and I'm going to work hard on our new plan!  Wish us luck and hold me!

Do you ever get overwhelmed by everything you need/want to get done?  How do you balance it all and not feel stretched too thin? 

Weekend Wrap-up: Little C Edition

Hey Guys!  It's me... Little C!  It's been a while since I've said hi so I thought I'd steal some of Mama's spotlight to share with you the happenings from my weekend.  First off, can we just reflect on the fact that my nickname involves the word "little."  Let's get one thing straight, I may be a "little" guy in the grand scheme of things but I assure you, there is nothing "little" about my adventures!  I plan on showing you what I mean...

So without further adieu I give you... my weekend.

Friday night my parents made me get all dressed up for some family photos.  Wanna know a secret??  That tie they made me wear is just a clip on!  Yeah, it just clips right on!  And don't let my paci fool you, even "big boys" need paci's from time to time.  Especially when I'm told I have to be good for family photos during the hours of 5:30pm - 7:30pm which my Mama says are my "witching hours."  What ever that means.  

Upon arrival to my grandparents house I received some toy trucks.  I was privy to the fact that the trucks acted as a ploy to continue on with my good behavior for photos.  There may have been motive behind the gift but I could really care less!  I got new trucks, man!  As you can also see by this photo I wanted to show off more of my "big boy moves" so I didn't even put my trucks down to quench my thirst from the juice box.  Boom!!  Big boy in the house! 

The photographer was good and all, but I had some ideas of my own!  So I grabbed my favorite blue chair and moved it all by myself.  Thankyouverymuch!  I really thought the photo shoot was getting a bit boring and I wanted to spice things up a bit.  As you can see, I had the right idea...

At this point my mom asked if I, "could possibly be ANY CUTER??"  News flash mom:  Of. course. I. can.

One chair simply was not enough.  So, once again I took it upon myself to grab another. 

And cuteness ensued.

My final big boy move of Friday night was feeding my grandparents ferocious beasts their treats. 

I'm so stinking brave!

Saturday morning rolled around and even though I went to bed waaaay past my bed time, I still thought it'd be super fun to wake up at 6:00am.  And by "fun" I mean for me, not my mama.  Early rising aside, fun was had by all when I was whisked away for pancakes and eggs at a super cool restaurant that overlooks an airport for small planes and jets.  I went with my mom and my other set of grandparents.  How lucky am I?!?!  I loved to watch the planes taking off and landing and the fact that this super cool restaurant didn't have highchairs or booster seats really kept mom and grandparents on their toes! 

After getting my fill of brehkie we went for a walk around a park and pond and I demonstrated the following big boy moves:

Pushed my own stroller and...

Fed the ducks some of my Teddy Grahm crackers!  The adults in the group weren't too sure if ducks should be eating Teddy crackers but c'mon, they are a scrumptious treat!  I know no friend or fowl that wouldn't love a Teddy cracker. :)

My weekend adventures ended on a high, and rather wet, note.  My mom and dad took us on a walk to the town center near our house.   Once they got me out of the stroller I was faced with this...

A splash fountain.  At first I kept my distance, it was sooo big and I'm so, you know, little.  But then I remembered that I am a brave big boy with no fear

(as I've demonstrated throughout this post) and I took the plunge!

Look at me go!!

So there you have it.  My weekend was so much fun and and I did all sorts of "big boy" things.  I'm gonna start lobbying for Mama to change my nickname to Big Boy C.  Whaddya think?  

I may be little but I'm no baby!   

Er, well....  

Until next time!  Little C, over and out!  

The list

So a few people asked if I would share our list of names.  I'd love to!  But to keep the element of surprise I will not let you know which ones are the front runners and which ones are crossed off for good.  Please, please let me know what your favs are!  In no particular order:

Jade

Embry

Sophie

Quinn

Tessa

Felicity

Hazel

Maebelle

Mabel

Marin

Brinly

Roxie (Not Roxanne)

Cora

Piper

Hadley

Mary

Maeve

Melanie

Collette

Corinne

Millie

Evelyn

Mila

Flannery

Morgan

Paisley

Matilda

Phoebe

Madeleine

Calliope (Callie for short)

Bianca

Bridget

Iris

Carly

Myla

Lorelei

Olivia

Lilliana

Elliana

Summer

Tenly

Cecily

Little girl names are so much fun!  :)  In addition to letting me know your favs feel free to throw some ideas out there too! 

What's in a name?

“What's your name,' Coraline asked the cat. 'Look, I'm Coraline. Okay?'
'Cats don't have names,' it said.
'No?' said Coraline.
'No,' said the cat. 'Now you people have names. That's because you don't know who you are. We know who we are, so we don't need names.”  ― Neil Gaiman, Coraline

“I’m not my name. My name is something I wear, like a shirt. It gets worn. I outgrow it, I change it.”

― Jerry Spinelli

“A name can't begin to encompass the sum of all her parts. But that's the magic of names, isn't it? That the complex, contradictory individuals we are can be called up complete and whole in another mind through the simple sorcery of a name.”  ― Charles de Lint

Operation: Name for P-Nut is in full swing!  I don't know about you, but I feel that picking out the name for your child comes with a great deal of pressure.  You don't want to scar the kid for life by giving them a crazy name or worse yet, a name they will hate.  Plus I feel that we give the child a name but they are the ones that truly give their name character and individuality.  

There is so much to consider when naming a child.  How does it sound with the last name?  Will you name them after a relative?  Will you go traditional or branch out a bit?  What about the middle name?  Will they have one?  Will they have two?  Does the name go nicely with Little C's?  "These are my kids 'C' and ___."  It has to have a nice ring to it!

For baby girl P-Nut I want to find something that is feminine but not to wimpy, cute and spunky, isn't too popular but isn't ridiculous either.  All of my grandmothers, including the great's, have a family member named after them so that leaves my mom, mother-in-law and Hubby's grandmother.  All with equally lovely names.  We have our work cut out for us!   

Yesterday I compiled a pretty descent list of names and gave one copy to Hubs and I kept one.  I told him to highlight the names he for sure liked and to cross out the names he for sure didn't.  I said, "now you might want to take your time and really think about each name..."  Before I had even finished that sentence he had completed his "task"!!!  Apparently he is pretty decisive when it comes to this stuff. 

We've narrowed our long list down a bit and have a few front runners but nothing that has made us scream "that's the one!"  We're still searching...  she's out there.

How important do you feel the name of your child is?  Did you go the family route?  Any heated back and forth with your spouse?   Any brilliant ideas you want to add to P-Nut's list?

Some day I will...

Be able to turn off my mind and go back to sleep after waking up at 4:30am to pee.  (P-Nut, you're not helping with this!)

Not be running around the house like a crazy person in the morning to get to work on time.

Leave daycare once Little C is happily in his room and not keep watching him from the window outside the door. 

Learn to control my hormones!  (Ha! This is a pipe dream for sure but it would make my life a heck-of-a-lot easier)

Figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

Worry less and play more.

But above all...

Some day I WILL win a Kitchen Aid stand-up mixer from the Pioneer Woman!  I will!

Toddler Dinners

I have a guest post over at Mannly Mama today!  I absolutely adore Brandy's blog.  She is a wonderful writer, hilarious, and always has wonderful tips to share on motherhood, womanhood, and life in general.  I stumbled upon her blog when I wanted to find ideas for Little C's dinners.  While searching I came across 'Toddler Dinners.'  It was awesome to get new dinner ideas for our toddler. 

"The Mann clan" just welcomed their second baby boy, Oliver, and as you can imagine, Brandy has her hands full.  I noticed that she was looking for people to fill her Toddler Dinner spot while she is tending to Ollie's needs and I jumped at the opportunity!  Check out my post on weeknight cooking and be sure to check out Brandy's blog!

Are you ready for some football?

Summer is nice and all, but what I really love is the fall!  The weather is perfect, the colors are gorgeous and it is the start of... FOOTBALL SEASON!!!  I love football!  Being born and raised in Colorado I'm a dedicated Broncos fan.  Game days at home consist of team colors or jerseys, a cleared schedule so there is nothing else to do but watch the game, and strategic planning for game time eats.

#18 Peyton Manning

This season is going to be extra special because Peyton Manning is our starting quarterback!  I have to admit I haven't always been his #1 fan but you can't deny his talent and leadership so I am putting my differences aside and welcoming Mr. Manning with open arms. 

So, you know how I constantly rarely complain about my boss?  Well there are times when working where I do does come with some perks.  For example,  the Big Cheese gets season tickets to the Broncos every year and the seats are 9 rows up from the north end zone!!  Guys, 9 ROWS UP!!  That is pretty awesome.  The only thing cooler than that is the fact that the Big Cheese isn't a Broncos fan and lets each of his staff select a game that they would like to attend.  Whoop!

As if that wasn't enough...  Things worked out this year where I was given two pre-season tickets to Saturday night's game AND we still get to go to a regular season game!  Whoop, whoop!

You may be asking yourself, "what could possibly be better than that?!?!"  Well allow me to tell you...  the only thing better than going to a Broncos game is going with one of your dearest girlfriends that loves football as much as you do!  Hubs of course is my ultimate football date as you can see here:

Last year, Broncos vs. Bears.  The best game I've ever been to! 
4th quarter comeback and an overtime win!  It was too much!

Hubby had plans Saturday night so my second favorite football date is my wonderful friend A.  We had the best time not only watching the game but catching up and laughing the night away.  The Broncos didn't fare so well that night but we had a great time none-the-less.  Some highlights:

(insert joke about Tight Ends)

P. Mann in action

Broncos Touchdown!!!

Oh, A!  How do I love thee...

Perfect night. 

It was a great weekend and I can't wait to go to another game with one of my favorite ladies on the planet!  Plus, I probably won't be pregnant the next time we go and I will have some tailgate catching up to do! ;)

Are you a football fan?  Who's your favorite team?

I did it!

Yesterday I went to Tar-jay on my lunch break because Little C desperately needs some new shoes.  His current "daycare kicks" are super worn, becoming too small and man oh man do they make his precious little tootsies stink something awful!  It's still too hot for socks and sneakers right now so I tried to find him some replacement "daycare kicks."  I found some but need to return them today because he is a whole size bigger than I thought!!! 

Apparently he it reneging on a pact we made when he was a newborn.  We made a promise to each other that he was going to stay my little baby forever.  He was only a few months old and didn't actually shake on it or say much of anything really, but his silence and the look he gave me was all I needed to seal the deal!  And now?  Now he's decided to KEEP GROWING!  (sigh)

But my son's precious, growing, stinky feet were not what I was excited to tell you about today.  I wanted to let you know that I did it!  I found something I was drawn to and couldn't resist getting for our little P-Nut!  Something that made me smile and feel butterflies in my stomach.  It wasn't a cute little dress,  or a pair of teeny-tiny mary janes (although now that I think about it, I need to get some of those pronto).  It was this:



A super cute pink elephant rattle!  You get the correlation, right???  We call our little sweetie, P-Nut right now and what do elephants like to eat???  

It was the last one hanging on a hook surrounded by boy colored and themed rattles.  The only cute little purple and pink elephant just begging me to get her!  It makes me happy.

Now, about those mary janes... 

100!

Today is the 100th birthday of Julia Child!  Oh, how I love her!  I'm not at all ashamed to admit that my love affair with Mrs. Child began with the movie Julie & Julia.  Something about that movie really spoke to me and after seeing it in the theatre I became mildly obsessed with Julia Child.  I bought the DVD as soon as it came out and I've only watched it 103 times.  I bought Mastering the Art of French Cooking vol. 1 and received vol. 2 as a Christmas gift.  I bought and read My Life in France and could barely put it down because Julia's life was so interesting and fun to read about and when she would describe the food she was eating or preparing I felt like I was right there with her.

Prior to my love of everything Julia I already had a love of food and cooking.  That stems from my amazing husband who literally taught me to cook when we lived together in college.  Not only did he show me how to hold a knife and chop an onion, but he really gave me the confidence to give cooking a try.  I have been in the kitchen and cooking up a storm ever since!  It is no secret that Hubby is the chef of the household but I certainly have come to hold my own and through devouring countless cookbooks, magazines, cooking shows, and pure trial and error I can now say I've graduated from his sous chef to the 2nd chef of the household!

The reason that the Julie & Julia movie "spoke to me" was how it showed Julia's love for food and cooking and how she literally devoted her life to it.  The Julie Powell part of the movie is all good and fine but it was really Julia's story that resonated with me.  And in case you are wondering, I did not start blogging because of the movie.  I started for other reasons and at least two years after the movie came out.  But enough about me... back to Julia! 

She was so passionate about all aspects of the culinary world that she took every measure possible to perfect it.  She learned French and attended the Le Cordon Bleu taking classes filled only by men.  She would meticulously build a recipe with not only taste in mind but the actual science behind it.  How the ingredients coming together would effect the end product.  She was fearless!

That is so inspiring to me.  I genuinely long to find something that I am unwaveringly passionate about and devote my life to it.  But what?  I work in an industry that I'm not 100% passionate about.  I am passionate about the clients that I work with and the role that I play within my company.  I've accomplished a lot and continue to grow but I know deep down I'm not in a place that will fulfill my life. 

In addition to finding what I'm truly passionate about I find that I lack the fearlessness that I admire so much about Julia Child and other successful people.   Most people that started their own business or made a drastic career change, are taking a huge risk.  They know what they want and they go for it knowing that there may be some unpleasing consequences.  Risk is not my strong suit.  I always play it safe and let the self doubt squash any hopes of going for something bigger than what I'm doing now.  I need to figure out a way to find balance between responsibility and taking a risk.  Hmmm... where to start???

But today is about Julia!  Happy Birthday Mrs. Child!  Thank you for making your way to France and eating your first ever french meal of Sole Meuniere.  Thank you for loving it so much that you decided to devote your life to cooking.  Thank you for your loving character, your wit, and being absolutely fearless in the kitchen.  You have inspired me and taught me more than you will ever know.  Including how to properly scramble an egg!  My husband and son also thank you for that one. ;)  Your legacy lives on...

Bon appetite! 

(Cheesy?  Yes.  Do I care?  Not. one. bit) ;)

A girl can dream...

I think I've mentioned this before, I absolutely adore musicals!  I love the songs, the dancing, the characters.  Last night I had a very vivid dream that I was auditioning for the role of Maria in West Side Story!  Not only did I audition but I got the part!!! 

Me.  Maria!  It was probably one of the best dreams I've ever had!  Not only because West Side Story is my all time favorite musical, but also because I can't carry a tune to save my life.  I always wished I could sing, and Lord knows I've tried, but it's just not my strong suit.  I can dance with the best of 'em but ask me to sing and your ears might start bleeding!

I had the privilege of being in my high school's rendition of my fav musical and that was probably as close as I'll ever get.  I wasn't Maria but I was in the chorus and had some time in the spotlight on the dance numbers. 

I'll always have high school and I'll always have my dreams...

So far today...

I hit the snooze button one extra time.

I forgot to put my suit and Hubby's work clothes in the dryer even as they sat there staged and awaiting said dryer placement (we do this every morning to freshen up our clothes, de-wrinkle if necessary and just because we've always done it. Anyone else do this?)

I spent countless minutes digging through a bag searching desperately for an item that was already nuzzled firmly in my hand.  It took me countless minutes to realize this.

I took my suit out of the dryer and failed to keep the dryer going for Hubby's clothes.

Realized I forgot to load up coolers in my car for a golf event I have for work.  As I was already running late this was not a fun realization.

I bonked Little C's head on the car while putting him into his carseat.

I fielded a call from Hubby reminding me that I forgot to leave a check that we needed to get out today.

I was convinced that Facebook was lying to me when it said today was a friend's birthday.  "Their birthday is August 10th!" I exclaimed via text to Hubs.  He replied, "today is August 10th."

AND IT'S ONLY 9AM!!!!

I've got pregnancy allotted coffee in one hand and my workload in the other.  With my absent mind and droopy eyes I will get through this day.  Wish me luck!  I'm gonna need it.

This is what it's all about

Last night Hubby and Little C were having the time of their lives chasing each other around the house and laughing up a storm!  It went a little something like this...



Little C instigated the whole thing by chasing Dad into a corner of the kitchen.



Dad wasn't going to take this lying down so he pulled a very skilled "reverse chase" move on the little man and so it began.  Out of the kitchen...

Around the corner, into the living room, heading for solace behind the big chair...



But the big chair could not keep this Dad away! 
 (Look at the smile on C's face.  Do you think he is having any fun at all??) 




Then the high flying air show began...  Up!




Down...



Wedgies were administered.  Just kidding!!!  That's what this looks like but I assure you Hubby is just helping the little guy out.  His britches started falling down!



The grand finale was a major loopdy-loop before a death defying plunge into the couch.  And then...


Little C lost his balance and took a mild digger off the couch.  It wasn't a big fall but the tears started flowing, he called out for Mama, and play time was over. :(



I love watching my guys having so much fun together.  From day one Hubby has literally been my son's favorite person.  Hubby is my fav person too!  (He has that effect on people)  When our relationship started getting serious and we were throwing the "L" word around, I also used to tell him he was my favorite person in the whole world.  Now he has to share that title with a new little man but I don't think he minds too much.

Although Hubby came very close to reclaiming the top spot last night when I overheard a conversation between him and Little C.  I was in the kitchen cleaning up dinner, which Hubby made for us (see aren't you loving him already?) and he and C were playing in the other room.  Apparently C started to get rough with something and I heard Hubby say...

"You can't do that son.  You have to be gentle with this.  It is delicate just like your mama and your sister."

:: swoon :: 

I love that husband of mine.  I love that my son loves him so much, and I love that Hubby is blissfully unaware at this moment of how much his daughter is going to love him too.  :: double swoon ::

I couldn't do it...

Everyone we have shared our news about P-Nut with is super excited and thrilled to death we are having a girl.  It gets us excited to share the news when people react so positively and lovingly.  I say it, "gets us excited" because as you know, both Hubby and I were envisioning a boy.  So this weekend was spent mentally shifting gears into the land of pink! 

I'm thrilled to have a daughter and I don't want this post to get confused with the idea that I am not happy.  Because I most certainly am!  I am honestly just a tiny bit sad that my baby boy days are over.

When it came to our first pregnancy Hubby and I wanted a boy so bad it was all we could think or talk about.  From the start I had a feeling that it was a boy and once my feelings were confirmed we were over the moon!  A boy!  It was what we always wanted and dreamed about even before we were ready to start trying for a family. 

I loved shopping for all of the cute little boy clothes with puppies, dinosaurs, trucks, etc. on them.  I'd breeze right pass the ruffley dresses with bows and pink polka dots and grab the first comic book hero shirt I came across.  I was in full on boy mode and loving every second of it. 

Little C has been such a light in our lives and he is every bit a boy.  He loves to get into everything and will gladly dangle upside down and rough house with anyone who is willing.  He has taken dives off the furniture, head butts the cats and runs around with reckless abandon.  But he is also so sweet and loving and man is that child funny!  I absolutely love having a boy.  Period. 

As I write this I am now starting to feel a bit foolish...  I intended to talk about how I'm sad that I may not have another boy.  Who knows if we will have a third child and we all know it's only a 50/50 chance of having a boy with that one too!  But how lucky are we?!?!?  I HAVE a boy.  An amazing boy that has taught me a level of love I didn't even know existed.

I intended to write about how we went to Target over the weekend to buy a little something for P-Nut.  Something to celebrate her and help shift our mental gears a bit.  I couldn't do it.  I was in the baby girl section and I couldn't find one piece of clothing, a blanket, shoes, a headband.  Nothing.  I kept glancing over at the newborn boy clothes and I felt sad.  We left the store with a new Spiderman shirt for C, a truck book, and a new matchbox car. :-/

Why am I sad when I just listed all of the amazing gifts our son has given us?  I've had the baby boy experience and it was such a delight!  But now I am fortunate enough to have a baby girl experience as well and from what family, friends, and especially my parents tell me, it will be equally delightful. 

Am I nuts for ever feeling a bit sad to begin with?  Has anyone out there gone through any of these same emotions?  I plan to shake them off and get over it!  I will continue enjoying the sweet little boy I have and now celebrate and enjoy the sweet baby girl on the way.  That much I'm sure I can do!     

P-Nut is... a....

GIRL!!!   I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!  Even though I envisioned a boy I just knew we were having a girl.  The wives tales proved correct with this little nut in that I have been a hormonal wreck and everything has seemed different from Little C's pregnancy. 

I'm excited to have a daughter but I fear that having a girl comes with a different set of responsibilities.  In this day and age there are so many awful things out there that I will want to protect her from.  There is no longer a lasting sense of innocence with children (boys or girls) and I will want to protect that too!  I will want to make sure she is surrounded by as many positive female role models as possible.  Then there are the hormones, the teenage years and I cringe at the thought of her hating me some day. 

But as my friend K pointed out, there are so many fun years before they break away and "hate" their mommies.  There will be a time when we are best buds and super close.  I get to buy cute girl clothes and enjoy decorating her nursery.  I get to be open and honest with her and pass along all of my wisdom I've gathered from my life experiences.  HA!  God help her! 

Will she want to be a dancer like I was?  Will she be more into sports?  Will she simply love and adore her big brother and vise verse?  Little C looks a lot like me, will P-Nut take on Hubby's good looks?  So many fun things lie ahead.  I admit the unknown is always a bit hard for me and although I am a teensy bit nervous, I'm also looking forward to meeting my baby girl.   

I have a daughter. 

:: tearing up :: 

Let's talk about sex...

As in gender.  Get that pretty little head of yours out of the gutter!  Or don't.  Whatever.  ;)  Anyways, as I was saying I'd like to talk about the undetermined sex of baby P-Nut.  Tomorrow we have an ultrasound and we may be able to find out if "the Nut" is a he or she!  Eeeeek!!  I'm so excited!

I say "we may" be able to find out because I am only 17 weeks along and there is a chance that the pieces and parts may not be clear for all to see.  We've been warned that if there is any doubt at all then the technician will not even chance it.  Which means we will have to wait until the 22 week ultrasound. {By the way - tomorrow's ultrasound is to check my cervix because I've had a LEEP procedure and apparently that means my cervix is on high alert!  The ultrasound is to make sure there is no pre-mature thinning and everything is as it should be.  I will take this time for a public service announcement to urge all the ladies out there to get your annual OB/GYN checkups and make sure you are in good health}

Now back to our regularly schedule program:

As of right now I'm pretending that not being able to tell tomorrow is not an option.  I keep reading that you can tell the sex as early as 15 weeks so I am hopeful and all giddy with anticipation.  Hubby, the level-headed one in the relationship, keeps telling me to not get too excited because he doesn't want me to get upset if we can't tell.  I know he's right but I can't help myself.  Eeeek!!!  I'm doomed.

I am also not ashamed to admit that I am hoping for another boy.  Most of our family and even our friends keep expressing their hope for a girl.  That is all fine and dandy and if P-Nut ends up being a baby girl of course, I will be thrilled and know it was meant to be.  But there is a part of me that likes the idea of two little boys.  I'm not sure if it is because we have a boy so I'm in "boy mode" or perhaps it is because by dad is one of four boys and ever since I was young I fantasized about having four boys of my own.  Hearing the stories of them growing up, looking at the pictures and seeing how close they all are now is pretty impressive.  (Don't worry Hubby, I'm not jonesing for 4 kids!) 

People who know me are a bit shocked that I'm not dying for a girl.  I'm very "girly" in the sense that I was a dancer and a cheerleader, I love musicals, the Grammy's are like my Superbowl, and I get giddy over decorating my house by season.  But for some reason I don't picture myself with a girl. 

I know this all means that P-Nut is without question, a girl.  Like I said that will be great and wonderful.  Little C will be a great protective big brother and I will have fun with the dresses and ruffles and shoes, oh my!  But the idea of two scrappy brothers sharing adventures and doing "boy things" just sounds like fun.  A handful.  But fun!  Plus as I mentioned in this post, I don't think there is any shame in having a vision for what you want your family to look like.  I realize it may make for a mental shift as you learn you are not having what that vision entailed but that is fine.  I also think it is another great reason to not wait until delivery to find out the sex.  This way I have time to mentally adjust to the idea of a girl and I think knowing the sex regardless of what it is, helps both mom and dad to attach to the unborn child much more.  Just my opinion.

So I'm counting down the minutes as this time tomorrow I will be in the waiting room of the doc's office trying to remain calm and hoping with all my might that P-Nut's pieces and parts are clear for all to see.  And I will be thinking happy thoughts for my beloved cervix as well.  After all, a healthy cervix and a healthy baby is all that matters and the gender is just icing on the cake! 

Did you hope for a particular gender when you were pregnant?  If you haven't started your family yet do you have a vision for what it will look like? 

Rough night

Little C is such a sweetheart!  I know he was sick and miserable last night but it has become clear that he was getting Hubby and I ready for life with a newborn again.  Yeah, isn't that great?!?  Our poor little guy was up every hour on the button then started sleeping in 2 hour chunks.  I had forgotten what it was like getting up that frequently and it was a harsh realization of what's to come in January.

Hubby and I took turns each time the monitor lit up with the sounds of crying.  At one point Little C was inconsolable and it took the two of us attempting to calm him down.  Dad has the magic touch and was able to soothe C back to sleep.

The three of us had a rough night but luckily the fever broke and our son woke up looking better and clearly feeling better than yesterday.  Of course Hubby and I woke up looking worse and feeling worse than we did yesterday due to sleep deprivation.  Luckily neither of us are sick so off to work we went leaving our recovering toddler with Grammy. 

I hope this day flies by and I hope I can pull it together here to get through my workload! Maybe I should splash cold water on my face or something.  Otherwise...

(photo credit)