"Time is what we want most but use worst." - William Penn
You said a mouthful there Mr. Penn! Last night Hubby and I were talking about time or more specifically, the lack there of we are currently experiencing. We discussed how hard it is to get everything done and how we feel like we are in a rut and not using the time we do have to our advantage.
The two hour window from daycare pick-up to bed time is a well choreographed routine and we tend to maximize our time very well. It is amazing what we can accomplish in that window. A snack for C while Hubs and I get work clothes off and get set up for tomorrow's work day (coffee, lunches, suits, Little C's clothes, etc.), dinner made and eaten, dishes done, play time as a fam, PJ's on, teeth brushed, books read, and good night smooches galore! And that doesn't even include if it is a bath night, trash day, or something else pops up as things tend to do.
Our dilemma comes after those two hours. I'm not going to lie, for me once Little C is in bed and it's 7:30pm I start to feel "done." Done with my long day, done with any kind of physically exhausting tasks, done with thinking, done with decision making, done with everything. I want nothing more than to plant my tushy on the couch, get lost in mindless television and do nothing until I can no longer keep my eyes open. That time is usually around 9:00pm. I know, I know, I'm quite a wild one!
Although there are days where being "done" and doing what I just described is fine and dandy, the issue is when that becomes all you do. At least that is how Hubby and I are currently feeling. We are staring down a tunnel with our second baby waiting on the other end. January sounds like a long time away but it will be here before we know it! We have an office that needs to become a nursery, we don't have any furniture to accompany the new nursery, we have a long list of house projects we need to complete before the baby arrives, and most importantly... we need to spend time together.
Not parent time together but actual husband and wife time together. I'm not talking about the hibbity-dibbity... get your mind out of the gutter. ;) Of course that topic is always important in a couple's relationship but this is not the place for me to discuss that. I'm talking about connecting with each other beyond discussions of dealing with tantrums or Little C's diaper rash. Being the two people we were before we were parents and especially before we have another newborn and our time to connect is even less than it is now.
Or what about time for ourselves as individuals? I can't tell you the last time I rolled out my yoga mat. I used to practice yoga as much as humanly possible and the closest thing to a down dog I've done recently was picking up a toy off of the floor! Hubby has interests that he no longer engages in. What about these types of needs?
Where will we find the time for projects, connecting and improving ourselves? All are important but the weeknights leave us drained and the weekends leave us wanting to catch up on family time with our son and doing anything else besides chores and projects. Are we not using the time from 7:30pm - 9:00pm to our advantage? We've drop C off at his grandparents from time to time to start on some of our projects but then we end up looking around the house at our everyday chores and tackle those along with errands instead. We are doing "things" but not the right kind of things to get us in gear.
How can we do it all? Time for our son, time for each other, time for ourselves, time for the to-do's and very, very soon... time for our second baby! Last night Hubby and I carved out a pretty descent plan as our attempt at tackling everything we would like to do. It will require some discipline and communication but it just might work. It helps me to have a plan and I think we just might be able to pull it off. I'll keep you posted on how it goes. Until then I'm going to figure out how to muster up more energy that I don't have as a pregnant person right now and I'm going to work hard on our new plan! Wish us luck and hold me!
Do you ever get overwhelmed by everything you need/want to get done? How do you balance it all and not feel stretched too thin?
I came over from PW! I've recently found that working on projects together gives my husband and I lots of Time - together, and apart. Planning the project, collecting the stuff, getting out the tools, doing the work, figuring out what went wrong, re-starting, finishing, cleaning up, and admiring the end project are all activities in themselves!
ReplyDeleteDon't forget, your family is going to involve your entire lives for years and years. The end result is TOTALLY worth all the "Me-Time Loss"!
This is a wonderful point!! I love how you put it! :)
DeleteI am so with you. I too have a very short window with my little on each evening, and that time is so precious. And I get the "done" thing--I know I need to do the things I can't do with a clingy 17mo--mow the lawn, scrub the toilet--and I'm just DONE. I don't even want to do things I love, like read! Let alone do a workout video or all the pending chores.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I try to have at least one date a month. It's insane that out of 30/31 days, we have to struggle for that time, but we're going on an unprecedented work-night date tonight because um, tomorrow is the last day of August. I never knew it would be so hard to keep up with "life" as a working mother, or as a mother at all.
I like the once a month date night. We might have to give it a try! I couldn't agree more about how hard it is to keep up with "life" as a mother and a working mother on top of it. No Mommy Wars here, I just agree with what you said as I can relate to it! ;) Thanks for the comment!
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