The waiting game

T-minus ten days 'til my due date! I am so very tired. I have not been sleeping well for some time now and it keeps getting worse. My mom says it's "Mother Nature's way" of getting me ready for life with a newborn. I say Mother Nature can shove it! I need my sleep!

There's nothing like your first pregnancy awaiting the arrival of your baby. Butterflies abound as you anxiously await labor. You've heard everyone share their story up to that point, the good, the bad and the ugly and you're left wondering how your story will go. You have no idea what to expect and that is a double-edged sword.

On one hand it is very helpful not knowing what to expect, you know... blissfully unaware. On the other hand, it is torture just waiting and wondering, "is this it?"

But this time I have to say it is almost worse!! This time I know what to expect, relatively speaking, but there are still many unknown variables that are driving me crazy. This time the double-edged sword is a doozy! I know that it will be intense, I know that it will be hard work, I know that it will be painful. Hey, it's called "labor" for a reason! This will be no walk in the park. But the silver-lining on this side of the sword is that I've survived! I've "been there, done that" and I know I can do it again. It is amazing what our bodies, and minds, are capable of accomplishing and I'm ready to let this baby do her thing.

Although knowing I can handle it definitely helps my confidence, I still have a great deal of butterflies and anxiousness awaiting P-Nut's arrival. When will it happen? How will it play out this time? Will it be faster than Little C? Will there be any complications? So many unknowns and if you've been reading my posts for a while you know that "rolling with the punches" is something I actually have to work at as it doesn't come naturally for me.

Luckily when it comes to labor I have no choice. I must succumb to the fact that rolling with the punches is the only way. I also need to not let my sleep deprivation take me into Negative Nellie land and stay positive and relaxed.

I'm going to kick this labor's arse no matter when it comes for me and I'm going to have a beautiful baby girl in my arms in no time!! Ready when you are P-Nut! But of course if you want to just hurry up already and get things started right this second, that would be fine too. Just saying...

A letter to my unborn daughter

Dear P-Nut,
My sweet baby girl... Welcome to our family! You've been a part of it for the past 9 months but soon you will physically be here with us and we are happily awaiting your arrival.

I wanted to share with you my feelings on having a daughter. You will probably read some of my past blog posts (since you will automatically be one of my #1 fans and pour over each post with vigor) and you may notice that I was in a bit of shock upon finding out you were a girl. I want to make one thing very, very clear... That shock is LONG GONE!

I am over-the-moon excited to be having a girl for so many reasons. Of course there is the obvious reasons... dresses, tights, shoes, bows, etc. Which I promise not to go overboard on because little girls need to get down and dirty just as much as boys do and you will be dressed accordingly!

I'm also incredibly excited for you to meet your father. There is something very special about the relationship between fathers and daughters and I can't wait to see your Dad's heart melt once you are in his arms. You will learn a lot from him, be protected by him and have so much fun with him. I can't wait to witness it!

You will also have a big brother. Little C will be a playmate, a friend, a nuisance at times, and another one of your protectors. The two of you are going to have a lot of fun. Just try not to gang up on your Dad and I too much!

Another reason I'm super excited to be having a girl is the possibility that you will enjoy some of the same things that I do. Perhaps you will want to be a ballerina like I was, and share a love for dance and musicals. We will have nights where we paint our toe nails and giggle about silly things. We will sing and dance around with reckless abandon. Maybe you will even want to be a cheerleader like your 'ole ma. So much fun!

That all sounds like perfection to me but do you know what else sounds perfect? If NONE of that is your cup-o-tea! Maybe dance and musicals are of no interest to you whatsoever. Maybe you will love all things sports and will be a great athlete. Perhaps you will excel at playing an instrument and music will be your passion. You may be a little smarty pants with a thirst for knowledge and spend your time reading books and figuring out math problems.  I can't wait to see what path you take and I want you to know that I will support you no matter what.

The next reason I'm excited to have a daughter is the opportunity to make a positive impact on your impressionable little life. It will be my greatest challenge to date for no other reason than I don't want to be a complete hypocrite! I don't want to simply tell you to be brave, fearless, confident, and self-aware, I want to be an example for you. I have been working very hard for a long time now to be all of those things and I can safely say that I'm getting there. I'm not perfect, but I'm a work in progress.

I want you to know that you are "good enough" just the way you are and that trying to be someone you are not will prove to be a giant waste of precious time and energy. I am speaking from experience on this one.

But enough of that mumbo jumbo! We'll cross those bridges as we get to them. Until then, here are a few more things in store for you:

• You will have some of the most amazing women surrounding you and loving you unconditionally. The core group is Mopsi, Nana, Mimi, and Auntie Shannon. That line-up is pure gold and each one of those ladies will have something very special to share with you.
• You will have some of the most amazing men surrounding you and loving you unconditionally. I can't tell you how you are about to have some of the toughest guys I know wrapped around around your finger! Popsi, Scotty, Uncle B and Uncle C won't know what hit them!
• You will get to meet your great-grandparents, and P-Nut... just let me tell you, they are a hoot and holler!
• You will have the proper manners of a lady and be able to throw a football with the best of them!
• You will be able to change your own tire and kill your own spiders.
• You will appreciate fine food and fancy hotels but know how to pitch a tent, gut a fish, and camp your little heart out.
• You will fall in love.
• You will break some hearts and get your heart broken.
• You will learn that being a Princess means more than being beautiful and finding Prince Charming. Princesses are smart, brave, kind, and more often than not, can really belt out a good tune!
• You will make mistakes and learn from them.
• You will have some amazing girlfriends that will never let you down, that you will love and cherish, and have moments of laughing until you can't breathe and your sides hurt.
• You will have some girlfriends that do let you down, but you will learn from those circumstances too.
• You will know the value of hard work.
• You will also learn that compassion, kindness and understanding really do go a long way.

I could go on but the best part is there's so much that awaits and you have to live and experience it all for yourself.

Baby girl, you will carve your own path in this world and as you do there will be two people by your side throughout it all... your father and I. We may not always be physically by your side because I'm told as you grow up there will come a time that we have to "let you go," but we will always be there for you no matter what. No. Matter. What.

I hope you're as ready to join our family as we are for you. I can't wait to meet you and hold you in my arms! See you soon, precious girl.

All my love,
Mom

Just like that, the magic is over...

All that build up to Christmas, the hustle and bustle, and then... it's over. No more Christmas tunes on rotation and I'm back to work after four days off.

:: note to self - take the day AFTER Christmas off next year, you fool! ::

We had a really great, and busy, Christmas. Saturday and Sunday was a whirl-wind of errands and chores, then visits from family and friends whom we don't see very often. Christmas Eve we hosted Hubs side of the family at our house which was a very nice day and thanks to our amazing family, this 9 month pregnant gal didn't have to do much at all!

Christmas morning was perfect with the Hubs, Little C and I. Our second year with our little man and our last with just him. :: sniff, tear ::

Then more family and fun Christmas afternoon with my side of the fam. Yesterday evening the three of us crashed hard. C was in bed by 7:30pm and I think Hubs and I were asleep by 8:30pm. Not on our way up to bed, literally asleep!

Little C was quite the character having a ball with his loved ones and enjoying all of the gifts. He is definitely at an age where it became a bit overwhelming at times, but I have to say he was a trooper and I'm super proud of him.

It was such a great four days and I'm left feeling very blessed to have so much family to spend this special time of year with.

Now that it has come to end it is time to gear up for baby!! There are only a few items left on our to-do list and I'm hoping P-Nut "hangs in there" until I have crossed them all off. Two weeks away from my due date!! Holy Crap!

But that stuff can wait. At least until tomorrow, I'm tired. For now I will enjoy reliving Christmas 2012 and how much joy it brought.

We woke up to a White Christmas in Colorado

Little C making his way toward Santa's offerings.

At first he only had eyes for the fire truck. Santa scores!!!

Giving the fire truck a thorough inspection

The Mickey Mouse couch was his second love

A Mickey Mouse couch and fire truck. What more could a boy ask for?

I captured many more precious moments although I'm a terrible mother blogger for not getting any pictures WITH my son. I looked back and I don't have a single image of the three of us. I'll have to take one in front of our tree before we take it down and call it a Christmas photo!

And finally...

He'd had enough excitement for one day!

I hope you had a wonderful Holiday as well and that you were filled with happiness and contentment. And if you're back to the grind like me today, I feel your pain!

Brain dump

Last night I was having very regular and strong Braxton Hicks contractions to the point that a few times I was left asking, "is this it?" But thinking back to my last labor I remembered that if I have to question whether or not "this is it," then it most certainly is not. There is no question about when the real labor starts, at least there wasn't for me.

As the contractions were doing their thing I just made sure to completely relax and drink plenty of water in case it was just my body telling me to calm down, get some rest and hydrate. That's just what I did and even threw in some ice cream for good measure! Hey, it has a calming effect on me... yeah, that's it! I eat the ice cream because it "calms" me down. ;)

But as I sat there with P-Nut moving and grooving and the Braxton Hicks tightening and relaxing, I started thinking how real this is about to be and I became nervous, anxious, and stressed out. It's funny because I've been feeling so ready to be done with the pregnancy and keep saying I want to get on to the next stage already. But then it hit me that, I"M ALMOST TO THAT NEXT STAGE!!! :: gulp ::

I started thinking about labor and how it will go down this time around? I felt that my first go-round couldn't have gone any better and I am praying this will be the same. Labor is a mental game as much as it is physical and I'm also hoping I can get back into that "zen" place when everything gets started.

I started thinking about Little C and how our time with just him is getting smaller and smaller. As excited as I am to meet baby girl P-Nut I am also super excited for Christmas with C. I am hoping our baby girl wouldn't mind waiting until after Christmas to do her thing. Although, if there is anything P-Nut has taught me so far it is that she is on her own little agenda and will get here when she darn well pleases!

I started looking around the house at all the things we still have to get done. I started thinking about work and all of the things I still need to get done there for my maternity leave. It all just started closing in on me and I felt overwhelmed.

Hubs started talking about my breast pump and where it is and how we need to get it cleaned up and ready. I couldn't even talk about it. I shook my head and requested that we just sit on the couch, watch mindless TV, and enjoy our ice cream without talking about anything baby related or to-do list related. I just couldn't handle it.

Today I'm feeling the same way and I just wish I could shake it. But instead of beating myself up for how I'm feeling I've made the decision to just roll with it. Yes, I'm nervous, anxious and stressed out but that is normal. I'm on the brink of a life changing event and it is okay to be feeling this way. Everything will work out, it always does. Everything will get done, it always does. And even if every little detail isn't accomplished by P-Nut's arrival, so what! We've got enough done that if she were to show up today we'd be fine.

I've got a lot going on and sometimes it's more exhausting to pretend like I've got it all together instead of just admitting that I'm dealing and doing the very best I can. Luckily I'm really looking forward to the upcoming Holiday and even though getting ready for that is part of my to-do list it is enjoyable and it will be nice to get together with the fam and be merry!

So that's my brain dump for the day. Thanks for listening! How are you doing? Need an ear to dump on yourself? I'm here for ya!

1 + 1 = 2

I'm at Mile High Mamas today talking about the anxiousness I'm feeling for P-Nut's impending arrival. I'm also incredibly excited, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous for life with a newborn and a toddler. I know I can handle it, just can't fight the feelings...

Head on over and check it out!

Were you nervous when going from one child to two? Any words of wisdom or advice for me?

Happy Monday!

I say that without a single shred of sarcasm. Because today, after the events from Friday, it doesn't seem right to complain about anything.

I definitely had a lump in my throat as I dropped Little C off at daycare this morning but we have to carry on.

As I entered daycare I was also told that our center is closing its doors as of January 18th and we will need to find a new place to take Little C. New center, new teachers, new kids, coming at a major transition time in C's life where we will be welcoming a baby sister AND introducing potty training...  Plus we need to find a center that has room for our baby girl in a few months!

Now normally this would have me very stressed out. But today I told myself, "oh well." We'll figure it out.

Any stress or complaint that I may be feeling today pales in comparison to what people in Connecticut are dealing with. I'll take my "problems" any day.

We did manage to have a good weekend complete with a visit to Santa and major headway with P-Nut's nursery! Almost time to share the "after" photos with you!

As for our trip to see Santa, it was great! There were two standout moments... 1) on the car ride to see Santa, Hubs asked Little C what he was going to ask Santa for? C replied, "something to eat!" We were in stitches!  2) After meeting Santa, siting on his lap, and taking the picture, dear old Santa placed C down and our son reached his little arms back up in the air because he wasn't ready to go.

It was too cute. The picture taken by the pro's turned out great and this outing was one more reminder that I HAVE to get a new camera. Here is all I was able to capture:

Waiting patiently for our turn.

Thanks for the candy cane, Santa!

I wish I new what Little C said here. Santa seems shocked!

Feeling very blessed to have these precious moments. I hope you had some of your own this weekend.

My thoughts and prayers are still with Newtown and Sandy Hook Elementary and will be for some time...

My thoughts...

My thoughts and prayers are with everyone affected by the tragedy in Newton, Connecticut. Those precious children, their parents, siblings, relatives, etc. The teachers and staff at the school and their families. The rescue squads called to the scene, and so many more.

As a mom learning of this shooting I wept... It's unthinkable. Even if I wasn't a mom I still think this tragedy would strike a chord. The children... It really is too much.

My thoughts also turn to the gunman. I ask myself how someone loses their way so much and feels so lost that they don't understand the value of a human life. Maybe they don't see the value in their own but to not see the value of others is the real tragedy here.

People will start sharing their ideas on how to make sure this never happens again but until someone comes up with a secret to healing those that have lost their way, I don't think we will be able to escape this madness. Gun control, heightened security, religion in schools, it is all good in theory but until someone can help the person that truly believes ending the lives of others is their only purpose, we will get nowhere.

My thoughts are also on my own children. I am sick that this is the world they will be growing up in. A world where innocence is lost way too young and now nowhere is safe. Instinctively I want Little C to spend the rest of his days in our basement with his father and I and P-Nut can stay put securely in my womb, protected and safe!

Of course, I'm being dramatic but how in the hell am I supposed to feel confident when I drop my kids off at daycare and someday at school that I will see them again at the end of the day? How is my mother-in-law who is a teacher supposed to feel safe going to work? This event is one more reminder that nothing is off limits and that makes me sick and scared.

But life goes on and giving into the fear only lets darkness prevail. All I can do is make sure my children know they are loved and give them a life that instills confidence, compassion and empathy. I can protect them as best I can but there is a great big world out there and to not let them experience it would also be a tragedy.

There are still good people out there and kindness all around and that is a beautiful thing. I'm sure like me, you've given extra tights hugs over the past few days and let your loved ones know how you feel about them. It is hard when we fall prey to the daily grind to not take anything for granted and it is a shame that we sometimes wait for life changing events to remind us.

All I know is I remain thankful for my life and my family and friends and my thoughts are with Newton.

Sounds of the Season

Do you love Christmas as much as I do? I love the lights, the smells, the sounds, the warmth, the cheer, the traditions, the magic, and being together with loved ones. It truly is the most wonderful time of year!

I am also the crazy person that starts listening to Christmas music around Thanksgiving and pretty much has it on non-stop until Christmas day is over. No, I never get sick of it and yes, I mourn when it has to be turned off until next year.

"So, Kendra... What are some of your favorite Xmas tunes?"

I'm so glad you asked!! Plus that's what I'm here for. To answer the burning questions of my loyal readers!

:: crickets ::

Hello???

Well, I'm gonna share my favs anyway.

Favorite Album: Hands down, without question, always has been and always will be...

Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton's Once Upon a Christmas

I used to grab a fake microphone, singing and dancing around the house to this RECORD. Yup, vinyl. My parents were troopers but no one was a bigger trooper than my snot-nosed bratty little brother whom I also shoved a fake mic into his hand and insisted he be "Kenny" on all the duets. Much to his chagrin, of course. This is such a fun album and it holds very special memories for me...

Favorite Song: Oh Holy Night.

But not just any old rendition will do. There are some singers, who are amazing in their own right, but have no business singing this song. It takes a special voice to really do it justice. This song should be reserved for the Celine Dions and Josh Grobans of the world. All others need not apply. There are many versions that give me chills every time. It is a gorgeous song, indeed.

Then there is my uncle Scott (bless his out of tune heart) that really can belt "fall on your knees" like no one else I know and it just isn't Christmas for my brother and I until we hear him hit those notes. :) 

Favorite Version of Silent Night: Can I get a some east coast swaaang!! Hey, I grew up in the '90's and Boyz II Men were pretty special during that time. Whether or not you like hip hop or R&B it just doesn't matter when it comes to this song. They are talented guys and they sing acapella to boot!

Boyz II Men's Silent Night Listen to it now... you're welcome.

Overall Favs in no Particular Order:

Anything Elvis Presley
Anything Burl Ives
Anything Nat King Cole
Anything Johnny Mathis
Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass - Christmas Album (this reminds me of my mom... we'd listen to this record and dance around the house together)


Bing Crosby - White Christmas
Trans-Siberian Orchestra - Christmas Canon
Jackson 5 - Santa Claus is Comin to Town
Barenaked Ladies w/ Sarah McLachlan - God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen (it's a toe-tapper for sure)

And these are just a few!

So what did you think? Are any of these on the top of your list too? As you can tell I'm a sucker for more of the oldies but it's what I grew up on and the memories that they hold are part of the reason I love this time of year so much. 

What are your favorite tunes this time of year? Do you love the music as much as me or could you do with out it? What special memories do your favorite songs recall for you?

"You're so big!" - Yeah, well your breath reeks!

Over the weekend the following comments were directed at me:

**I feel I should preface this by mentioning all were said by people 75 years or older at a client event my company sponsored on Saturday. It was a Holiday luncheon for a group of retirees. Oh, joy of joys...

1. "By looking at you it's easy to tell when your due date is... two weeks ago, right?" HAHAHA!
2. "You are soooo big. Is it twins?"
3. Said by an old man as he's holding my hand - "I learned long ago to never, ever, ever, ever, ask a woman if she's pregnant until you can actually see the head crowning!" HAHAHA!
4. Said by the MC of the event to the entire crowd, with a microphone - "Have you seen Kendra yet?" "Well you won't be able to miss her, she's due any day now!"

Ahhh, the elderly. They get away with saying whatever comes to their ancient, lovely minds. And it's not just them. I don't understand why people feel compelled to tell a pregnant woman how huge she is!

I feel like it's the one time people get to be free with their words without caring about the consequences. For instance, I'd never tell a person how huge their ass got since the last time I saw them. Or to tell a short person how short they are. We never tell strangers that we meet that they have bad breath or that the shirt they're wearing is all wrong for them. But people see a pregnant person and feel compelled to tell it like they see it!

Why? Why tell me how huge I am?!?! It's not a compliment and what am I supposed to say in response? This past couple of weeks I've at least been able to gain a few laughs by saying, "yeah, I just ate too much turkey at Thanksgiving!" Plus, I never know what they truly mean anyway. Are you saying my belly is huge therefore my baby must be huge? When you say I'm "so big" are you implying that just my belly is big or are you also pointing out the fact that my ass, hips and thighs are also gigantic and you are stating for the record that I am big from head to toe?

Because if you are... not. cool.

When you ask if I'm "due any day now" is it because you think I look miserable as if I truly am due any day now? Or maybe is it because you are an OB by trade and you have the power to tell the position of the baby's head or that it is starting to drop?

Either way, just don't.

When you tell me I'm "glowing" am I really? Do I really possess a charming glow with flawless skin and a smile of contentment or are you just saying it because you feel like you have to?

I think telling someone they are "glowing" is a charming comment that should be reserved for someone that is truly glowing. We've all seen it. A person is so happy and fulfilled that they look effortlessly beautiful and you feel compelled to share that with them. That is appropriate and, if you are the recipient of such a compliment, it seems to fit.

Please don't tell me I'm "glowing" if you feel like that is just the thing to tell a pregnant woman. We know how we look and the majority of the time we are feeling anything but "glowy."

I guess my point is, don't tell a pregnant person that they are huge, or big, or ask them if they're having twins, or if their due date is any day now and reserve "glowing" for when you really mean it.

I still have 6 weeks to go people and I swear if someone feels compelled to tell me one more time how huge I am, I just may round-house kick them in the face!

Assuming that I can get my leg that high, or move that fast, or that I really will be so rude instead of simply smiling, putting my hands on my apparently enormous belly and saying in response, "yes, I sure am."  (sigh)

6 more weeks, 6 more weeks...

What is the rudest thing anyone ever told you while pregnant? How do you handle the, "you're so big" comment?

Kudos

Today I wanted to give a shout out to all of the working moms and dads out there that are making it happen every. single. day.

Here's to you busting your ass at work then getting home and busting your ass there too. Here's to taking shit on the job (figuratively) and cleaning up shit at home (literally).

Here's to long hours, unrealistic demands, and crappy pay. Oh, and the same goes for at work too.

Here's to the grind... Early ass alarm seeming like a cruel joke, get everyone out the door, daycare drop off, commute, zombie at work masterly productive at work, daycare pickup, commute home, dinner, countdown to bedtime, small window for rest, lights out.  Rinse and Repeat.

Here's to kissing your spouse goodbye and wishing them to, "have a good day" while wondering when you will get to actually spend some quality time with that person in the near future. Quality time which doesn't consist of discussions about work drama, daycare, baby's bowel movements, or quoting lines from Cars.

Here's to getting an opportunity for quality time with that spouse but spending it relaxing on the couch together watching mindless television and being in bed by 9pm because you truly have no energy for anything else.

Here's to bashing your head against a wall attempting to rationalize with a human being but they aren't getting a word you say because their tiny little brains aren't developed enough to reason with you yet. {Insert boss or toddler}

Here's to a hectic day on the job followed by a tantrum filled evening. {Insert toddler or hormonal pregnant wife}

Here's to supporting your family by any means possible. Juggling a life/work balance that never seems to get easier. And, getting through any obstacle or hurdle that comes your way.

You are amazing and I get it. I live it and some days we need to be reminded that we are fighting the good fight and not completely sucking at it. Because after all...

Here's to having a job in a crappy economy. Here's to the empowerment that comes with providing for your family by any means possible. Here's to having a partner to juggle life with. Here's to those sweet little babies that wash away even the most stressful day with a simple, perfect smile.

Here's to the good days that make us feel like we can tackle the world and handle it all!

Here's to you, working moms and dads. You rock and no matter what, you make it happen every. single. day.

My hat's off to you!

And to all of the SAHM's, the WAHM's, the working couple's without kids, the single parents, the single ladies, the single gents, and anyone else I may have forgotten...  You rock too! Everyone busts their humps every day no matter what our circumstance and we all could stand to be reminded that we are doing a damn good job!

Kudos to all, and to all a good night!

D Day

I know I've been M.I.A. lately. Have you been worried or missing me?

:: crickets ::

Hello???

Well, I'll share my story anyway!

Tuesday of this week was D Day for me. And by "D Day" I mean "death day." The flu-stomach-bug-nasty-virus-thing struck down on me and I was hating life. My body was ridding itself of everything and I could not even keep a sip of water down. I ached all over and couldn't get comfortable and the pain in my abdomen was no fun at all.

The scariest part was that I started having contractions and P-Nut was barely moving. She is a mover and a shaker and I can literally time almost down to the second when to anticipate her movement. The contractions of course had me concerned about pre-term labor and because my abdomen was hurting so bad I was confused whether I was experiencing labor pains or if it was purely the stomach bug.

Thankfully, my OB/GYN was able to see me that morning and after a thorough evaluation there were no signs of pre-term labor and little P-Nut was doing just fine. The contractions were due to my dehydration. The doctor said she wasn't concerned if I wasn't able to eat for the time being, the main concern was keeping me hydrated.

I was given a window of time that if I didn't start showing improvement I'd have to go to the hospital for an IV. Since we have gone through so much of this with Little C, I knew that the best chance I had of relief was to get some sleep and let my body "shut down." That's just what I did and by late afternoon although I wasn't better, I was at least able to replenish some fluids.

Yesterday I was still having stomach pain and was incredibly exhausted. But, I had to go into work because we have a client event tonight and I had to finalize some details for. The rest of the day was spent resting.

Today, I'm back at work trying my best to seem energized and motivated when I'm still not 100%. It's going to be a long day and night.

Our client event is a wine tasting with a three-course dinner. Food and wine. Two things that sound completely unappealing to me at the moment as well as schmoozing with people when I so desperately want to be in bed.

Although, even if I didn't have the client event I couldn't just be home and in bed because we have a toddler and life doesn't stand still when you're a parent. Plus, Hubs has been awesome the past couple of days and I wish I could be relieving him of some of the stress.  He knows as well as I do that it is all part of the "game" and if the roles were reversed I'd be taking care of things like he is. I just feel bad.

Oh, and did I mention that I also have a client event all day Saturday? Or how about that Little C had diarrhea last night, and two diaper changes before 7am this morning?!?!? So, either he's caught my bug or his tummy issues are acting up. We are crossing our fingers for neither hoping it was something he ate.  We HAD to shove him into daycare this morning because of our work situations and I'm feeling completely guilty about it and keep waiting for my phone to ring telling us we need to pick him up.

ARGH! Here's hoping I start feeling back to normal ASAP, Hubs gets a much needed breather ASAP, and Little C stops pooping up a storm ASAP!! 

How many days 'til Christmas???

Back to the grind. (wah, wah, WAH)

Did you have a good Thanksgiving? We had a wonderful Thanksgiving and a four-day weekend that was filled with family, too much wonderful food (which I'm aware is a complete oxymoron), and lots and lots of Little C laughs!

I think the Hubs and I fell more in love with our son over the long weekend. We had good times for sure with all of the extended family, but the moments shared with just the three of us were truly priceless. I feel like we need to soak up as much Little C time as humanly possible before P-Nut arrives!

So now it's back to reality with 5 day work weeks, which are highly over rated, and a busy work load gearing up for year end AND my maternity leave. So much to do... so little time!

I hope everyone has a great week. Coffee mugs up... cheers!

Thankful

At the risk of being totally cliche and unoriginal this time of year I'm going to share with you what I am thankful for. I know everyone will be doing it and yes, if they jumped off of the Brooklyn bridge I probably would too.

I'm also sharing a day early because tomorrow will be filled with homemade breakfast of some sort hopefully involving copious amounts of syrup, snuggle time with Little C and the Hubs, the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, a walk in the wonderful Colorado weather, rest during a toddler nap, then off to the Father-in-law's for the big feast!!!

My maternity pants shall know no bounds this weekend! ;)

So here it is. What I am thankful for...

My life - I'm alive and breathing. Life is fragile and precious and every day that I am here to live it is another great day.

My husband - My favorite person in the whole world. My partner. My friend. My love.

Little C - :: tearing up::   It's hard to even get the words out... I'm so incredibly thankful for my son. He is the gift of all gifts. The light of my life and makes my heart swell with happiness. I love him. so. very. much.

Baby girl P-Nut - I'm thankful for her health and progression so far. I'm grateful for some important lessons she has already taught me and I hope she knows how much I love her already.

My parents - They are solid... In their love for each other, and for their family. I am thankful for their unconditional love and their undying generosity.

My brother - I'm thankful he is mine. I'm so proud of him and I love him to pieces. He is a caring, sweet guy with a smile that lights up the room.

My in-laws - "In-laws" is waaaay too formal for this crew. They are my family too. I'm thankful for their acceptance and graciousness and I'm thankful for their love and support.

My Sis-in-law - I'm thankful for our relationship. We are each other's sister we never had. I'm thankful for so many fond memories of good times and laughs and I'm thankful that there are still so many to come.

My Bro-in-law - I'm thankful for the relationship he has with my husband. I'm thankful for the generosity and kindness he's shared over the years. Most of all, I'm thankful for the relationship he has with Little C. It is very special indeed.

My furr babies - Lately, I haven't been the best at being thankful for them and I need to do a better job. They were our first family and I am thankful for the memories and the journey they've traveled with us. Buster, Stanley, Dalyla and Oscar... "We're the strangest herd I've ever seen!"

My family - From the great-grandparents down to the youngest baby cousins, my family is a gift.

My job - Yes, it pays the bills and I am beyond thankful for that. But I truly do love what I do and I am thankful for my boss' generosity and flexibility as well as my other co-workers. We all work hard toward the same goal and it is nice to be a part of a team like that. I am also extremely thankful for the clients I have the privilege to work with everyday.

My friends - I'm thankful for sharing so many good times with them and for their friendship when it's really needed. I'm sorry when life gets in the way and there is space between us, but I'm thankful that the true friends don't seem to mind.

I have a rich life indeed. Not because of the material things but because of the people (and pets) that are so special to me. Of course I am thankful for a roof over my head, clothes on my body, and food in my belly, but above all...

I'm thankful for love in my heart and the gift of family and friends to share it with.

Happy Thanksgiving!

What are you thankful for?

The Mommy vs. The Parent

I'm over at Mile High Mamas today talking about how I shift from "Mommy" to "Parent" and how difficult it can be sometimes.

Are you a first-time parent in the toddler phase and finding the discipline a challenge? How do you handle it?

Come on over and join the discussion!

Work in progress...

This weekend was Operation Nursery! I woke up on Saturday morning in a super excited and energetic mood. I couldn't wait to start making P-Nut's space into something more inviting. Plus it just seems to make her impending arrival more "real."  Not that it hasn't been real all along but just that it's really, really, real the closer we get. Does that make sense?

Anyway, like I said, I woke up in a chipper mood ready to get painting!

We called in the troops to make the process go faster...

We taped, and primed, and painted our little hearts out! And don't worry about me, I had my husband, mother and brother all making sure I took breaks to get water, fresh air away from the paint, and that I always had a stool or comfortable place to stand or sit.

Good times were had by all and there were plenty of laugh-out-loud moments. Including "twinkle toes Hubs" stepping directly INTO a paint tray!

D'OH!!!

In case you were wondering, the official color is Behr "China Cup" and it is a version of white but has a slight baby pink tint to it. We really wanted to brighten the room up and will use the decor to incorporate the color.

Also, in case you too have wall-to-ceiling '70's wood paneling that you would like to paint, our research told us that primer was essential. We could not get away with the paint that has primer already in it. Plus the primer needs to be latex or oil based NOT water based. 

Lastly, through trial and error we discovered that latex or oil based primer will not come out of your brushes with the basic soap and water like water based products will. There are products you can buy to get the primer out of the brushes but when the man at the hardware store said, "you may want to buy two pairs of these heavy duty gloves in case the chemicals start to burn through them," we said no thank you! We tossed the brushes and had fresh ones to use with the paint.

This man busted his ass this weekend getting all of the supplies, coming up with the game plan and making sure all of the details were in line.

Uncle C hard at work!

Mopsi was a trooper not just because of her painting skills but that she didn't complain once about the occasional Jay-Z song that was in our iTunes shuffle! ;)

The painting crew after the "primer phase"

Operation Nursery is coming along quite nicely and I can't wait for the final product!! A HUGE thank you to my lovely mother and super sweet brother for helping us. We could not have done as much as we did without them! Another HUGE thank you to my mother-in-law for watching Little C while we tackled the painting.

It takes a village, people. It takes a village.

My dear little P-Nut, I hope you know how much your family loves you already! We can't wait for you to join our family. :)



Pregnancy in Motion

The last couple of months of pregnancy are not for the faint of heart. The last month you are a down-right soldier and the last two weeks you are a walking, talking ball of mushy misery counting down the seconds.

The last two months also bring with it a slower pace, a waddle where your walk once was, the need to scratch your itchy belly, wishing you were surrounded by air-conditioning at all times even in the dead of winter and the need for a forklift to get you up from any soft sitting space.

I have to say though, the worst for me is not being able to move very well. I'm not very graceful and simple tasks that normally take seconds become quite the battle. It is frustrating to not be able to move like you once did!

Just turning over from one side to the other in bed is a monumental occurrence. It takes time and patience to 1) decide that the roll is about to take place 2) figure out if you are going to roll with your body pillow between your knees or abandon it altogether, 3) take a deep breath and... HEAVE!! You might not make it all the way over in one fell swoop, oh no, that would be too easy. You make it to your back then wiggle and squirm the rest of the way to the other side. Once you are there you have to readjust your pillow, the covers and your stupid body pillow that is helpful yet annoying. Then once you are comfortable and set you realize...

You have to pee.  NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Oh and what about playing with a toddler in your last two months of pregnancy? That is down right laughable! He requests that we play ring-around-the-rosies and of course his favorite part is when we "all fall down!" But Mama CAN'T fall down because Mama WON'T be getting up from the ground once she's fallen. So we play from the couch, in my lap and when it's time to "fall down" I lay him on the couch and I slouch over to the side ever so cautiously. He seems unimpressed then he says, "ring-around-the-rosies with Dada!"

He's gone and I'm left stuck on the couch with worn cushions that have no fight left especially when a giant preggo is perched on top of them. I then have to do the couch dance scooting my body from side to side until I've moved myself to the edge of the seat and then push myself up.

But let's not forget about my two recent favorites, getting onto a message table and putting on tights! Oh to be a fly on the wall and have seen how I skillfully negotiated both of these tasks. First up, the message table.

This contraption is for pregnant women to lay on their bellies while getting a message. It is so very lovely and I found it to be very comfortable and since I haven't been able to lay on my stomach for ages, it was perfection. But getting up onto the table and into the pregnancy mat was hilarious!

I was dressed down to my undies in all my pregnancy glory and managed to climb on the table and onto all fours. Then I had to twist and turn to reach behind me to gather up the covers to drape over my bod. Once I had managed to do that I lowered myself into the pregnancy mat and inched ever so slightly to get it where it needed to go. This process took a very. long. time. I was extremely relieved that the masseuse didn't barge in while I was getting adjusted.

Once she did pop-in she said, "oh, I'm sorry. I wasn't very clear. You can't lie directly on top of the mat, you need to have a sheet between you."

Brilliant.

So I had to climb off the table entirely to fix the sheet, climb back on, do the twist and reach move to gather up the sheets once more and this go-round she didn't give me sufficient time to lower into the mat and into the room she barged to witness my pregnancy glory and since she startled me I literally flopped down into position. There was nothing elegant or glamorous about this whatsoever. However, the message itself was heaven and I was grateful to be receiving it.

Last but not least, the application of tights. I went to the store recently to purchase maternity tights and wouldn't ya know, they were all out! I really needed them so I thought the next best thing would be to buy two sizes bigger than I normally wear of regular tights and hope for the best.

Let's just say getting those bad boys on was nothing short of a miracle. I was sweating profusely as I had to get very creative on how I was going to get each foot into the tights. Do I stand and bend over? Do I sit on the bed and lift my leg up like a can-can dancer? Once both feet were in I had to pull ever so carefully up each leg grunting and moaning all the while because my giant belly was in my way!! I then pulled the tights up over my arse and the real fun started.

At this point Hubby walked into the room, took one look at me, turned back around and exited the premises. He could tell he wanted nothing to do with what was happening in that room and for this he is a very wise man.

After an epic battle and a lot of cursing, I managed to put on my tights. They are currently cutting into my ribs and creating a second row of back fat as well as digging into the creases around my pubic bone but hey, they are on.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to waddle my way to the restroom. I've been holding it because I'm scared to lower the tights and get them back up again.

Say a prayer for me. And if I'm not back soon, send help.

Weekend Wrap-up: List Edition

Five Fascinating Things From the Weekend:

1. We may have found the paint color for P-Nut's room!
2. I. hate. hormones. (I think it's safe to say my husband does to)
3. It was my fabulous Father's Bday on Saturday. Love that guy!
4. My snot-nosed bratty little brother has NO BUSINESS acting as a support for his large and in charge pregnant sister when there is snow and ice involved!! I slipped while gripping his arm for support only to find there was no support and I found myself on the ground muttering, "I can't get up!"

5. Slipping on the snow and ice with an already sore back and sciatic nerve makes for a very uncomfortable existence. I'm getting a message today. Here's hoping it helps!

How was your weekend? I hope everyone has a great week!

Challenge, accepted!

This weekend the Hubs and I are in full fledged Operation Nursery mode! I showed you the pics earlier of what we are working with...

That, my friends, is a lot of wood!

That's what she said! :: snort ::

Our dilemma? Besides the obvious floor-to-ceiling '70's wood paneling... Do we leave the walls or paint them? We will for sure be covering the floor with a giant rug but we are left pondering spending the time, and more importantly, the money to paint the entire room.

We've tossed around the idea of painting one "accent" wall but don't know how that will look either. Plus, we are not proficient in painting wood paneling and aren't 100% sure how much work we'd really be getting into.

Hubby and I are dropping Little C off at his Nana's for a few hours while we run to the store looking for crib bedding to help us determine the color scheme, then we are off to the hardware store to possibly buy some paint. 

Now if only we could agree on what to do... I have grand visions but our bank account doesn't seem in line with those visions. Drat!

What do you think??? Should we paint the whole thing or lighten up the room with wall decor, furniture, etc? If we do one accent wall, which wall do we pick?

How I'm Feeling Today...

A touch of this...

A dash of...

And a little of...

 

Wishing I felt more...

(photo credit)

I will snap out of this, I will snap out of this, I will...



Can I take a moment to vent?

No, not about politics. Although I am glad the hub-bub is over. I'm also glad that we have the freedom to vote and even the freedom to disagree. I don't care for gloating OR raging over the outcome. It's done and it's time to move on and continue to make each day better regardless of our views.

Tolerance goes a very long way...

What I really want to vent about is pregnancy!!! I try very hard not to complain too much. {quiet Hubs, I hear you scoffing!} Ok, so maybe I complain a little, but I feel like I have good reasons.

**Before I get into the reasons can I please sound like a broken record once again and say how grateful I am for being pregnant. I never want to come across as oblivious to the fact that having a healthy full-term pregnancy is nothing short of a miracle. I am blessed to be able to have something to complain about! I know there are women out there that would kill to experience any blip of a pregnancy ailment because it would mean there is a life growing inside of them. I don't want my venting to come across as insensitive, it is just something I need to do. Don't hate me. 

I want to vent about how hard this second pregnancy has been! This little P-Nut has been kicking my ever-growing ass!

My hormones take me from happy and euphoric to crying and demonic within seconds. I can't control them and I don't feel like myself. That is very hard and frustrating. It can make me feel so very low when I can't get a grip. I'm not going to lie... I'm nervous for postpartum when it comes to this fact. But I've been talking with my doctor and my therapist so at least it will be top of mind when the time comes.

The other thing I want to get off my chest is... well... MY CHEST!!! **TMI alert! If you don't want to know, now is a good time to stop reading** I have the biggest boobs!! No wonder my back is killing me. I have to lug around two bowling balls in addition to a growing baby. I swear each boob is as big as my head!

I know it comes with the territory but my goodness, this is a whole new level. I'm shaking in my booties for when the milk comes in! Oh, and do you know what I really can't stand?!? When people say, "your boobs are huge!" REALLY?!?!? They are??? You mean, your boobs don't flap up and hit you under the chin when you go up and down stairs? No? Just me? Brilliant.

I try in vain to contain them but they are becoming harder and harder to deal with. My big bras that I wore postpartum with Little C are fitting me snugly now. I try desperately at work to keep these suckers under wraps and it usually involves layering a tank under my clothes which makes me sweat and feel like a pork sausage wrapped in casing.

Last but certainly not least is my sciatic nerve. It is a huge pain in my ass and it hurts to sit, walk, drive, stand, sleep, and I swear I hear my ass laughing directly at me each time I attempt to pick Little C up!

So there you have it. I'm a hormonal mess with head-boobs and an aching ass. Puuuurdy, ain't it?

I'm 31 weeks tomorrow and I know it will be the longest, and at the same time, the shortest 9 weeks of my life. But at least there is an end in sight. I'm am so ready to move on to the next stage. Or at least I say that now... I'm sure once I'm juggling a newborn and a toddler I may wish to have this day back where I sit 31 weeks preggo. But for now I just needed to vent. 

Thanks for listening.

Rock-a-bye Baby: Our nighttime routine

The evening is a very special time in our house. It is when Hubby and I get to spend some quality time with our son. With both of us working full-time we cherish the few hours each night that we get to be with Little C.

We sit with him while he watches either Cars or Mickey Mouse for his allotted TV time (usually while one of us is making dinner), we all sit down at the table to eat while Little C cheers' us with his sippy full of milk, we have playtime after dinner usually consisting of chase, tickles or ring-around-the-rosies, then we calm down with board books, night-time smooches, a family hug and teeth brushing.

Now of course that is on a good night. You know as well as I do that with a temperamental toddler the above scenario is liable to change at any given moment. There can be epic battles of will and patience and there can even be nights where it doesn't feel like cherished family moments at all, but rather a never ending count down to Little C's bedtime. Hey, we're only human and so is our son. We all have good days and bad and I didn't want to paint the picture that we are this generation's Leave it to Beaver clan.

But do you want to know the most magical and special time of night? It's when we get the one-on-one time with Little C before he goes down in his crib. Hubs and I take turns putting C to bed and we have both expressed how special that time is for each of us.

When we still had the pacifier in full effect we lost some of those tender moments because once it hit his lips he knew it was bed time and practically asked to be placed in his crib for sleep. It was lovely because bed time wasn't a struggle at all. But then we took the paci away! {gasp} And it rocked all of our worlds!

Bed time became a negative thing. Little C was confused as to why he couldn't have his paci and he would cry his little heart out. We were at fault in the beginning because for the first few nights we kept with our old routine of just putting him down in his crib like before. It was torture for C and torture for us. Until we cracked the code...

Duh, mom and dad!!!

We were foolish to treat bedtime like we had always done and it didn't take us long to make some changes. We needed to provide C with comfort and get him ready for the idea of bed just like his paci had done for him in the past. We are now back in our groove and bed time once again is a soothing, happy time for all.

The key elements to a happy night usually involve just the right amount of rough-housing...

Book reading...

the gathering of his favorite blanket and his monkey lovie...

And last but certainly not least...

We rock our son to sleep. {gasp!!}

Now the die hard "sleep experts" say you should NOT get your child used to falling asleep in your arms. They should be put down in their cribs drowsy and not yet fully asleep so they can soothe themselves. I completely understand that method of thinking but I have to ask myself if those so-called "experts" were/are full-time working parents?!?!

I don't get to see my son but for two solid hours a day during the work week. I miss him and I want to eat him up during those two hours. Plus, I really don't see any harm in letting him fall asleep in our arms. It doesn't affect how he goes down at daycare or during nap time with us on the weekends. And, there are the occasional nights where he doesn't fall straight to sleep in our arms and he does get placed in his crib still awake.

Call it selfish, call it silly, call it whatever you want but it is something Hubs and I have grown to love. There is nothing more perfect or special than having Little C snuggled up in your arms and there is nothing more beautiful than a sleeping baby.

For now we rock our baby to sleep, and we love every minute!

Do you let your child fall asleep in your arms? Do you enjoy your bedtime routine as much as we do?

Barefoot, Baby!

Little C does not like to wear his socks and shoes. Period. Any chance he gets those suckers are comin' off! His favorite place to be barefoot and fancy free?

The car.

At home he refuses to wear socks or slippers and his little tootsies are always chilly. Oh well! I know I take my shoes and socks off right when I get home too so I guess he just prefers it that way.

How did the timechange go with your kiddos? I was worried about it but it really wasn't too bad for us. C woke up at 5am (new time) on Sunday and I managed to get the dishes done, laundry started, house picked up, breakfast made, walked about 1.5 miles around the neighborhood, AND made a quick run to Target... all before 9am!!

We spent the day at our friend's house to watch the Broncos game and we knew we'd be playing with fire in regards to Little C's nap. He normally goes down around 12:45-1:00pm and by 2:30pm when we were starting to leave, he for sure was showing signs of being exhausted.  He crashed in the car, slept for about 20 minutes and the car to crib transfer DID NOT go smoothly. He was up and refused to sleep any longer.

His normal bedtime is between 7:30-8:00pm and with daylight savings we did not want to put him down at 6:30pm (which would have been 7:30 for him regularly) because he would never truly adjust. So we pushed him to 7:30pm (new time) and he was such a trooper! He even woke up at his normal hour today which has me thinking we are all set and adjusted. We'll see!

I hope everyone has a good Monday and a great week!

Does your kid(s) take off their socks and shoes in the car? Was daylight savings easy-going in your house?

October 21st

To some this day holds no significance. But to the Hubs and I... it was a game changer. October 21st, 1998 was when I went on my first date with my future husband.

We met working at a pizza restaurant called Beau Jo's, famous for it's Colorado Mountain Pies! I was a high school cheerleader by day and a hostess at the restaurant by night. I was a quintessential "good girl" loving the high school experience and completely unaware of what I was in for when the super hot cook asked me out on a date.

We had known each other for some time but he worked full-time during the day and since I was in high school my hours were part-time and on the evenings and weekends. We started to get to know each other at mutual friends parties and the attraction was present from the start.

I was completely infatuated with this guy! I liked him because he was tall and handsome and he was what most would consider a "bad boy." He had tattoos and he was 20 years old!!!! I was only 17.

I vividly remember him asking me out to dinner and then going home to tell my dad. {gulp} I said, "hey dad, how old is too old when it comes to dating?" My sweet father said, "get to the point, Kendra." I replied, "Weeeeeell, there's this guy... he's 20 and..." Dad didn't even let me finish! He quickly said, "NO."

It's a good thing mom had some pull in the situation AND, sorry dad, but I would have gone anyway. ;)

So there I was, out on a date with a guy that literally made me weak in the knees. We went to Red Lobster and then to a movie. It was a really fun night. But the magic happened when we said good night. We shared a very sweet and simple kiss and as he walked back up to his house (yes, I drove... it's a long story but makes for a good laugh) I started to get tears in my eyes. Once he was out of sight I sat in my car holding my breath and saying, "I love him, I love him, I love him. I am going to marry that man."

And that's just what I did!

I've spent the past 14 years with the man of my dreams and the love of my life. He is my favorite person in the whole world and I can't imagine life without him. We've grown and changed over the years but the core of our relationship and love we share hasn't faltered. We've struggled and had defeating days but the triumphs and the successes are far greater.

We've never stopped talking and sharing, no matter how difficult the conversation may be. But most importantly, we've never stopped laughing! 

Even if we are in a room together absolutely quiet with nothing to do, I'm happy and content because being with him is far better than not.

So why now? Why bring all of this up today? I bring it up because our beloved 1st Date Anniversary came and went this year without so much as a hug in memorandum or an anecdote from that night 14 years ago. There was no date night out, no dinner specialty made at home, there was nothing. Nada. We fell prey to the daily grind and October 21st fell unceremoniously by the wayside.

But leave it to Hubs to remedy that! I was surprised earlier this week by a single orange rose and a card sitting on our dinning room table. Hubby pointed out that our treasured day went unacknowledged and he wanted to remember it. Because some days that "good girl" and that "bad boy" need to be remembered! Without that first date we wouldn't have all of the fond memories of good times and adventures that came after it. Without that first date we would have never been married. Without that first date we would not have our amazing son or our daughter on the way.

I'm so incredibly thankful for my husband. He is a good man and there are no words that do justice for what a wonderful father he is. Parenthood has definitely challenged our marriage and relationship more than anything we've experienced in our 14 years as a couple, but we strive to get through each hurdle together and to be stronger on the other side.

October 21st was a game changer for sure...

To my husband,

I love and adore you more than words can say. Our first date was unforgettable (even though we kind of, sort of forgot it this year, but since now we've recognized it it still holds the "unforgettable" status). Thank you for loving me and for being by my side through everything in the past, today and for what's still in store.

You will forever be my most favorite person in the world!