My thoughts and prayers are with everyone affected by the tragedy in Newton, Connecticut. Those precious children, their parents, siblings, relatives, etc. The teachers and staff at the school and their families. The rescue squads called to the scene, and so many more.
As a mom learning of this shooting I wept... It's unthinkable. Even if I wasn't a mom I still think this tragedy would strike a chord. The children... It really is too much.
My thoughts also turn to the gunman. I ask myself how someone loses their way so much and feels so lost that they don't understand the value of a human life. Maybe they don't see the value in their own but to not see the value of others is the real tragedy here.
People will start sharing their ideas on how to make sure this never happens again but until someone comes up with a secret to healing those that have lost their way, I don't think we will be able to escape this madness. Gun control, heightened security, religion in schools, it is all good in theory but until someone can help the person that truly believes ending the lives of others is their only purpose, we will get nowhere.
My thoughts are also on my own children. I am sick that this is the world they will be growing up in. A world where innocence is lost way too young and now nowhere is safe. Instinctively I want Little C to spend the rest of his days in our basement with his father and I and P-Nut can stay put securely in my womb, protected and safe!
Of course, I'm being dramatic but how in the hell am I supposed to feel confident when I drop my kids off at daycare and someday at school that I will see them again at the end of the day? How is my mother-in-law who is a teacher supposed to feel safe going to work? This event is one more reminder that nothing is off limits and that makes me sick and scared.
But life goes on and giving into the fear only lets darkness prevail. All I can do is make sure my children know they are loved and give them a life that instills confidence, compassion and empathy. I can protect them as best I can but there is a great big world out there and to not let them experience it would also be a tragedy.
There are still good people out there and kindness all around and that is a beautiful thing. I'm sure like me, you've given extra tights hugs over the past few days and let your loved ones know how you feel about them. It is hard when we fall prey to the daily grind to not take anything for granted and it is a shame that we sometimes wait for life changing events to remind us.
All I know is I remain thankful for my life and my family and friends and my thoughts are with Newton.
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