"My sports bra is too small!"

That was the only thing running through my head as I attempted to workout over my lunch break.  I really want to start exercising regularly again.  After all, I don't think I can continue to use the excuse, "I JUST had a baby," when my son is one year old!

I figured the best time to squeeze in a workout with my busy schedule is over my lunch break.  Problem with that is... someone might see me!!!  So?  Big whoop?  Why does that matter in the least bit?  All very good questions.  The answer is simple... I've got issues.

Instead of enjoying a beautiful sunny day, a view of the mountains in the distance, time away from my computer, time to MYSELF, I was scrutinizing over the dumbest things.  I was stressed out that a co-worker would see me.  I was stressed out that my ass was jiggling more than I would like it too.  I was stressed out that I tied my jacket around my jiggly ass and now I looked like a frumpy old lady.  I was stressed that I shoved my gigantic boobs into a very tiny sports bra and with every step the giant bubble that was created was practically hitting me on the chin!!  I was so consumed with my insecurities it ruined something positive that I was trying to do for myself.

I need to get out of my head!  I need to just "be."  That will be hard.  I saw my therapist last night...  remember that Sex and the City where the girls convince Carrie that she needs to see a therapist because they can't handle hearing her drone on about Mr. Big?

Carrie: [about therapists] First they want you to come there two times a week, then three times a week, and eventually you're starting every sentence with 'my therapist says...'

Miranda: My therapist says that's a very common fear.

That just popped into my head because I was about to say "my therapist says..." Ha!  Anyway, I won't bore you with what my therapist said but I will tell you that it feels really good to admit my insecurities no matter how ridiculous they sound.  It also feels good to know that I have the ability to overcome these insecurities that hold me back from simply living my life.  I've told you before I'm on a mission to find myself and part of that mission will be to break through my barriers.  Allow room for vulnerability.  Just "be."  But first... a bigger sports bra!