Old habits die hard. That's a fact, Jack! My plan to start getting my butt into gear and living a more healthy lifestyle is off to a slow start. Since my first "Self-loathing" post I have been eating healthier and moving my body more. I've attempted to keep a food journal but I'm not sure I'm cut-out for that. I'm not going to give up on it yet because it has helped me to become more aware of what I'm putting "down the hatch."
The negative self-talk however, has not made any drastic improvements to speak of. That is what I mean by "old habits die hard!" I try, believe me, I try. But a quick glance in a mirror can take me from feeling good about myself to scrutinizing over every little thing that I think is wrong with me. And don't get me started with the elevators at work which are really mirror-covered-capsules-of-hell that let you examine yourself from every angle! Then there are my lunch breaks. I've been bringing my sneakers to work and walking. The weather has been beautiful and I have really been enjoying the sun on my face, the birds chirping and the view of the Rocky Mountains. Then all of a sudden... some girls from the office building next door apparently have decided to RUN on their lunch breaks and proceed to do laps around me with their bouncy, blonde pony tails, toned bodies and tan skin. It's April... in Colorado. You aren't supposed to look that good when I am feeling this bad!!!! Grrrrrr
Basically I'm a work in progress. I will get there I just have to stay strong and keep at it! I've been looking for inspiration to help me do just that. It is usually the stories of people who have been where I am and have "made it out." I like to read about how they did it and try to see if their methods are something that might jive with me. I stumbled across the blog, Healthy Tipping Point. I love Caitlin's mission statement: "when everyday decisions add up to something amazing." Her approach to living a healthy lifestyle is very inspirational to me and although I'm not a runner (I've had a foot surgery that makes running very painful), she has inspired me to find an activity that I am passionate about that I can work into my busy life. I love, love, love yoga but my mat is collecting dust right now because I can't afford to join a class and I can't bring myself to do it at home amongst the baby's toys all around, the cats weaving in and out of my poses and my mind constantly shifting to all of the things I should be doing around the house instead of harnessing my chi!
Not only does Caitlin Boyle have a great blog about healthy living, she has also started a great organization called Operation Beautiful. I consider it a complete serendipitous moment that I happened to stumble across this when I did. Get this... the mission:
The goal of the Operation Beautiful website is to end negative self-talk or “Fat Talk.” If this little blog only does one productive thing, I hope it helps readers realize how truly toxic negative self-talk is — it hurts you emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
I encourage you to look into this cause. It is such a unique idea and I love how easy it is to make an impact. As women we are constantly pegged against an unrealistic ideal of how we are supposed to look in order to be considered beautiful. I love that Caitlin's cause is trying to change the way women view themselves because we can be our own worst enemy. :: raising my arm in the air :: Guilty!
In a nutshell... I'm not giving up. This is only the beginning of a very exciting journey.