It isn't fun. Especially because I can't control myself. I know deep down that as I am flying off the handle to Hubby about something I am completely over reacting, but I can't stop. My blood pressure rises, the tears flood my eyes and my voice kicks into high gear. It is all pretty ridiculous but I can't stop it. What's hard is that whatever it is I am upset about is completely legit and is genuinely bothering me, but my reaction is what is uncalled for. On a good day the same "problem" may still upset me but I'd be able to address it in a constructive and adult way. On a hormonal whim however, I address the problem like a thirteen year old girl. The issue at hand is still important to address but it loses all merit with my hormonal, out of control antics.
I don't remember being this way when I was pregnant with Baby Boy and I really don't like it. I know it is part of the process and even when I'm not pregnant there are times when hormones get the better of me, but not like this. This is a whole new level!!
Today is pretty bad. I'm feeling down in the dumps and I want to burst into tears, crawl into bed and just cry until I feel better. I don't know why. Nothing has happened to me to make me feel this way but I can't shake it. I attempted to cheer myself up by buying myself coffee and breakfast this morning but it didn't do the trick. Plus I'm feeling bad about being a heinous you-know-what to Hubby this morning because I was upset about something silly. Heck, I'm feeling bad about being a heinous you-know-what to Hubby a lot lately! :-/ I even had a hard time dropping Baby Boy off on my way to work this morning because his sweet little face was actually helping me to feel better. (sigh)
It's going to be a long day but it is also going to get better. I am mindful of the fact that I need to work on my behavior a bit but it is also ok to admit I can't control the hormones and I am only human. I'm doing the best that I can and although I could really use a giant hug and permission to cry it out, I also know that really won't solve anything. So back to work I go hoping productivity will help distract me from this funk.
Funk you, hormones!