Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Take Care

(photo credit)
I've been out of commission for a while due to a virus-coughing-awful-feeling-sickness thingy.  I first told you I had come down with something on June 4th...  it never went away!! In fact, it got worse.  I know!  The nerve!  Your immune system is weaker when you're pregnant and you are more vulnerable to illness.  Additionally, if you do get sick your body can have a hard time recovering. 

After numerous sleepless nights from coughing fits and a sore throat I threw in the towel and went to my doctor.  It took me so long to do this because I was always told there wasn't much they could do for you if you're pregnant because you shouldn't take any medications.  My OB/GYN had given me a list of over-the-counter meds that were safe if you have a cold but the dosages they recommend are so miniscule that it really doesn't do anything to help you.  I had been suffering for three weeks and knew I wasn't going to get better by "toughing it out" any longer. 

The doctor took one look inside my throat and told me it had growth and was red and swollen.  Then she proceeded to give me a throat culture.  Fun Fact: I have had a fear of throat cultures since I was a little girl.  I would rather get a shot than a stupid throat culture.  In fact, when I was little I would have to sit on my hands and often times the nurse would have me in a head lock just to get their swab inside my mouth.  If they didn't take these measures I'd swat their hand away instinctively!  And by "little girl" I mean 5 years to highschool. :-/  The kicker... I never had strep!  I've only had strep twice in  my life.  Once in college and once after Baby Boy was born.  Even this recent throat culture came back negative.  But the doctor felt I had a virus of some sort and from what she saw in my throat thought antibiotics were in order.  Hallelujah!!!  They were safe to take while pregnant and within 24 hours I was feeling somewhat normal again.

I stayed home from work on Monday and Tuesday and although I was on the mend by Tuesday I still felt it was important to take one last day for recovery.  Plus, I needed a mental health day.  Do you ever need those?  A day where you just need to be by yourself, alone with your thoughts, recharge your battery, and then get back to the grind?  I needed that day badly.  I've been in a funk and I could feel it getting worse and worse so I knew a day to recharge was crucial.  If I don't listen to my mind and my body and don't take time out like that I can really find myself in a dark place, and getting out of that place is much harder to do if I don't nip it in the bud.  Luckily I also had a therapy session yesterday which was perfect timing and I was able to reflect on how I was feeling and why I was in a funk.  It was extremely helpful and cleansing.  Then I did what any normal person would do...  I went home, somehow found myself in even more of a terrible mood (even after my cleansing therapy session) and proceeded to argue with my husband.  Because that makes sense, right?!?!?  Of course it DOESN'T!!  What was I thinking?!?

I'm frustrated and stressed out about so many things and they certainly need to be addressed, but maybe I should not have chose this time to address them.  Luckily I was able to keep "crazy hormonal Kendra" at bay during our discussion and in some ways I think even having the argument was somewhat cleansing.  Does that make any kind of sense at all?

So over the course of a few days I was able to "cleanse" my body by ridding it of illness with meds.  Cleanse my mind with a much needed therapy session and cleanse my relationship of stresses that needed to be dealt with.  It was dificult, somewhat successful and completely necessary all at the same time.  Throughout all of it I was taking care of myself and listening to my body and mind.  That is hard to do sometimes.  As mothers and women in general, we tend to struggle through things because we can't let ourselves be weak or vulneralbe.  We have to stay strong for everyone around us and we often times lose track of our own needs.  I was ignoring the signs that I needed some space and time for me until I found myself in desperation mode.  I was physically sick and worn down and I was coming apart at the seams emotionally.

(photo credit)
 Taking care of ourselves is so important and even more so if you are pregnant.  Not only is it important to take care of our physical health but our mental health as well.  Don't find yourself in desperation mode like me.  Take some time to have space for yourself.  Tell people "no" every once in a while if you are feeling overwhelmed.  Do something that you love and don't always get time to do.  Go to the doctor.  Visit your therapist or if you don't have one call up your best friend, sister, mom, etc.  You aren't weak you just need to recharge your battery.  And one last thing...  don't pick a fight with your husband.  If he's anything like mine he doesn't deserve it and you can still address your concerns in a constructive way another time without fighting.

So, go forth.  Be the fabulous woman you are, give yourself a break and take care of yourself... And hug your husband.    

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