Don't get me wrong, I love toddlers and all the boundary pushing and tantrum throwing that go along with them. (read: sarcasm)
Of course I can't wait for D-Nut to start walking, running, talking, exploring and showing us more and more of her personality. I can't wait for her to play more actively with her brother. And there are so many other wonderful things that come along with turning one year old. But there are so many sweet little baby things that we say goodbye to as well.
I love the baby stage. I do. I'm a big giant puddle of goo just thinking about babies. Sure the newborn stage is really demanding and exhausting but once you get to 3 months and beyond it is all so glorious. Still demanding and exhausting, but somehow that's not what sticks with me. The exhaustion and the struggles fade away and what sticks is the baby smell, the soft skin, the gummy grins, and the rolls for days.
Truthfully, it's not that I'm sad... No. Wait. You know what? I have to be honest here. I AM sad. It is hard for me to be saying goodbye to the baby stage. I love it so much and even knowing how much fun is ahead and how awesome toddlers are, it still stings a bit.
I think I'm sad because this could be it. After Little C we always knew we wanted to add to our family and have a sibling for our little man. But now baby #3 is a HUGE question mark that is so big Hubby and I can't even fathom thinking about it let alone discussing it in full at this time. We are 100% completely enjoying the heck out of our two beautiful children and that is what's important.
It's just that if we do only have the two then I am saying goodbye to this baby stage forever and I am getting sentimental as all get out about it. Did I really slow down enough to enjoy it? I know I tried but honestly getting through the baby stage this time with a young toddler really kicked my butt.
When Little C was a baby everything revolved around him including all of our time and attention. But for Baby D-Nut? Our time and attention is shared between our two kids, sometimes one receiving more than the other. She has spent more time in her jumpy-roo on certain days because it is a safe place to "set" her while we run around getting things done. But that's just life, right?
I hope I've soaked in her baby-ness as much as I should have. It has gone way too fast and I swear it was only yesterday when I was at home on maternity leave, nursing my newborn daughter, and snuggling her as she slept on my chest.
I am beyond grateful for the blessings I have and I take none of it for granted. But I am an emotionally-charged-softy and as happy as I am to see my girl grow and as excited as I am for her future and the future of my little family... It still stings and I am a bit sad.
Oh, I so feel you, Kendra. I look at my little talkative boy and think back to when he would just scootch around in his preferred "army crawl." Where did that baby go???!!! It's so hard, this parenting thing.
ReplyDeleteIndeed it is. At least we have each other to commiserate with! :)
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