Then I look at myself in the mirror and think, "yup, it's been a month."
I've said it before and I'll say it again... this two kids stuff is no joke! It's a non-stop force. I was exhausted and zombie-ish with my first baby but now that baby is a toddler and I have a newborn to go with it. You can take the previous exhaustion and zombie-ness and multiply it by 10,000!!!
But this post isn't about how tired I am or how truly tough having two under two can be. That's a given, and I'm not the first mom to go through it so I will momentarily suck it up and get on with things. (Later in the middle of the night when all I want to do is sleep but can't because I have to nurse my baby and then she won't go back to sleep and just looks at me with her big blues eyes and is all, "I'm up, now what?" And then I finally get her to sleep around 5am just in time for my toddler to start waking up when he's supposed to be sleeping until 6:30am but is now waking up at ridiculous hours and acting a crazy fool all day because he's tired. That is when I will cry and feel helpless and feel like the only person in the world going through this because nobody really tells you how hard it's going to be!) :: sigh ::
Life with P-Nut truly has been a joy!
Here's the scoop so far:
She is a breastfeeding champ! We are still subscribing to the "feed on demand" approach which is typically every three hours day and night, give or take. In the beginning she would fall asleep at the breast often so I struggled with keeping her awake to get the job done. If I didn't we would literally be feeding for an hour! She has become much more thorough and breastfeeding in general is continuing to get easier for the both of us.
This may seem odd to be updating you on but if you are a parent you know how the quality, quantity, and frequency of baby's bowels plays a huge role in their overall health. I thought I'd share with you what we're experiencing because with Little C and now with P-Nut I'd always wonder, "is this normal?"
On that note, our precious little girl farts like a sailor! The poor lass passes gas like it's her job. Apparently it is normal and nothing to be concerned about because she doesn't cry in pain when it is occurring. Also in between her thunderous booms, her belly is soft. If her tummy was hard, she was crying in pain, inconsolable, or arching her back after nursing or while passing gas then we'd have something to be concerned about.
Lastly on this glamorous topic I discovered that it is not alarming for a breastfed baby to go many days without a bowel movement. After three straight days I started to get concerned but after doing some research and double checking with the Pediatrician I learned that a newborn can go up to 10 days without a BM and still be very healthy. Who knew?!?
P-Nut has typical newborn sleep patterns. She is just now starting to be awake for longer periods of time which is fun because she is much more alert than in those first few weeks.
So far the biggest difference between when Little C was a baby and P-Nut is their sleep. C enjoyed being swaddled and could be placed anywhere for a slumber. After two weeks he was already sleeping soundly in his crib. P-Nut will not sleep anywhere except in our bed!
I'm not a fan of co-sleeping. I know it works great for many parents, but for us it is not a good fit. I can't sleep soundly for fear of rolling onto her, or smothering her somehow. I know the likelihood of that happening is slim, but I still can't shake it. Plus, when I return to work a sound night sleep will be imperative.
However, once we discovered that she only wants to sleep in our bed we rolled with it because we were out-of-our-minds-crazy-tired and if sleeping in our bed meant we all caught a few Z's, then so be it. But now I'm ready to start transitioning her to the bassinet first and then off to the crib. We'll see how it goes...
I'm doing pretty darn good. I'm not going to lie, the first couple of weeks were brutal. Getting used to not sleeping, the hormone changes, breastfeeding, it is all a bit overwhelming in the beginning. But the past week I've finally started to feel human again. I may or may not brush my teeth, comb my hair, or shower on a regular basis, but human none-the-less.
As far as my mental health goes, I'm very happy to say that I'm doing great considering the stress and exhaustion I'm under. I am human so some days things get to me and I need to take a few deep breaths or even shed a few tears but really overall I feel good about how I've been handling things. I'm not perfect and I'm okay with it.
Speaking of not perfect... there's the topic of my body. I know a lot of blogging mamas post pictures of themselves right after giving birth and then snap shots of themselves each month to show off how well they are shedding the pounds. That is not my style. Losing weight has always been a major struggle for me and although I have lost a significant amount of the baby weight since P-Nut's birth I still have a long way to go.
I don't like to look at the photos of other moms shedding the pounds super fast and splashing it about as if to say, "look at me, aren't I fabulous?!?" Yes they are, but there are some of us out there that aren't as lucky to lose weight quickly or without trying and besides, I can tell when you are sucking in your tummy, standing in good lighting and holding the camera at a flattering angle. I'd look good too.
I just had a baby. I'm not where I want to be but I'm going pretty easy on myself because I want to do this right. Plus, before getting pregnant I was working really hard to stop self-loathing and I'm going to keep up with that mindset.
So, that's about it. I am so in love with my baby girl and each day and week as she grows and develops that love deepens. I also could not have done so well this past month if it weren't for my Hubs. We make a damn good team and I'm so thankful he's my partner. We've also had help from family members, bringing dinners, watching Little C, bringing us diapers, etc. To have so much family around us is a huge blessing and we are so grateful for everyone's help.
Also, there's this...
:: heart melts ::