Friday, July 19, 2013


My good friend K alerted me to a new parenting trend that I am going to adopt ASAP. Simply put, the CTFD method of parenting translates to: Calm The Fuck Down!

You can read more about that here:

This is going to be my new mantra. For the reals. And not just for parenting...

I am as guilty as they come for getting worked up and stressed out over any number of things related to parenting and life in general. I know a lot of it is a hard-wired part of my character and I have come to accept that "I am the way I am." I am not good at letting things roll off my back and curve balls always throw me for a loop.

I've tried and tried in earnest to change this about me but now I'm starting to wonder, why? Why do I need to change who I am and fight against it? I do envy other people, women and moms, who can take a "meh. Just is what it is" approach to parenting and life in general. I sincerely wish I could be like that but truth is... I'm not.

I am sensitive. Vulnerability scares me. I care so much about all. the. things. I bend for others. I am nice to possibly a default. I want to see the good in people and I am naive to the fact that sometimes it isn't there. I try really, really hard... all the time, at most things and I get really, really defeated when these "things" don't work out.

As you can see I'm setting myself up for feeling like a failure most of the time. Even when I haven't really "failed" at anything it just feels that way. Now here's the thing... I can't change who I am. Try as I might, I can never be a "meh. Just is what it is" kind of gal. Or can I????

I am sensitive. So what?!? Just is what it is.

I care so much about all. the. things. - meh. Just is what it is.

I bend, I'm nice, and I try really, really hard at "things" - That's just the way I am, take it or leave it.

What I can change about myself is the ability to CALM THE FUCK DOWN! I can still care and be sensitive but I don't need to blow a gasket over every silly little insignificant thing. I may get thrown a curve ball and I am allowed to let it bother me but there isn't anything I can do about it so once the initial shock is over, CALM THE FUCK DOWN!

Yesterday I cried on the phone to my friend K and whined and complained and stressed and acted a damn fool over something that I had no business doing any of those things over. It was something I'm passionate about and the concerns in my heart are valid but seriously, if I had just calmed the fuck down and took a moment to look at the big picture I would have not needed to get so worked up.

This new mantra of mine can be applied to so many areas... My marriage, motherhood, my work, and just freaking life! I'm feeling great about it already and I like the fact that I don't have to force myself to be something I'm not. I just have to CALM THE FUCK DOWN, breathe, and let things WORK THE FUCK OUT!



How about you? Are good at letting things roll off your back? Do you need a reminder to CTFD?

1 comment:

  1. Kendra, this is so me. OMG. For me, I try to MANAGE all the things. I try to fix things so no one is uncomfortable and everyone is good and in the end--no one is comfortable, least of all me. What I've had to learn is I CAN'T manage people--I can only manage what I personally do and personally control. The CTFD article spoke to me as well. One of my bosses is like, "I'm not a worrier. I just don't worry." It's like she comes from MARS to me.